Balancing The Scales ⚖️

NA World Services, Inc.

11 May

Balancing the scales

Page 137

“A lot of our chief concerns and major difficulties come from our inexperience with living without drugs. Often when we ask an old timer what to do, we are amazed at the simplicity of the answer.“

Basic Text, p. 43

❖

Finding balance in recovery is quite a bit like sitting down with a set of scales and a pile of sand. The goal is to have an equal amount of sand on each side of the scales, achieving a balance of weight.

We do the same thing in recovery. We sit down with the foundation of our clean time and the Twelve Steps, then attempt to add employment, household responsibilities, friends, sponsees, relationships, meetings, and service in equal weights so that the scales balance. Our first try may throw our personal scales out of kilter. We may find that, because of our over-involvement in service, we have upset our employer or our family. But when we try to correct this problem by resigning from NA service altogether, the other side of the scales go out of balance.

We can ask for help from members who have stabilized their scales. These people are easy to recognize. They appear serene, composed, and self-assured. They’ll smile in recognition at our dilemma and share how they slowed down, added only a few grains of sand at a time to either side of the scales, and were rewarded with balance in recovery.

❖

Just for Today: I seek balance in my life. Today, I will ask others to share their experience in finding that balance.All NAWS subscriptions are free. We are able to provide this service due, in part, to the generous contributions of our members. If you are a member, you can make a contribution here: www.na.org/contribute

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AI Overview

Whether it’s a sin to do everything for someone else without them doing anything for themselves depends on the situation and the motivations behind both actions. While a general principle of helping others in need is often emphasized, excessive dependency can create imbalances and potentially lead to harmful consequences. 

Factors to Consider:

  • Necessity and Severity:If the person is facing a dire situation, like needing immediate food or shelter, then helping them is generally seen as a moral obligation.
  • Potential for Growth:Over-doing for someone can hinder their ability to develop self-reliance and problem-solving skills.
  • Long-term Effects:Is the situation temporary or ongoing? An ongoing pattern of doing everything for someone can create dependency and resentment in the long run.
  • Motivation:Are you doing it out of genuine care and support, or are you seeking to control or manipulate the other person?
  • Individual’s Response:How does the person react to your help? Are they grateful and motivated to contribute, or do they take your help for granted and become complacent?
  • Personal Resources and Responsibilities:Can you consistently offer help without negatively impacting your own well-being or responsibilities? 

Examples:

  • A person struggling with homelessness:It’s generally considered right to help them with food, shelter, and resources. However, it’s also important to encourage them to seek long-term solutions like job training or therapy.
  • A child with a learning disability:It’s important to provide extra support, but not to do all their homework or assignments for them. This can hinder their learning and development.
  • An adult who is chronically unemployed:While helping them find a job may be necessary, it’s also crucial to address the underlying reasons for their unemployment and support their personal growth.

In Conclusion:

While helping others is a virtue, it’s important to consider the context, motivations, and potential consequences of our actions. Excessive dependency can have negative impacts, so a balanced approach that encourages both support and personal responsibility is often the most beneficial. 

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Reddit · r/Christianity90+ comments · 1 year agoCan something be a sin for one person and not another? : r/Christianity

Absolutely. Since I am not a Christian, the rules and beliefs of Christianity don’t apply to me. Thus, I have no sins.

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is pride a sin and why? and is a sin to be proud of yourself or others? – Redditr/Christian·30+ comments·3y

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What does the Bible say about helping others that don’t help themselves?

AI Overview

+18

The Bible encourages helping others, even those who may not be actively helping themselves, but also acknowledges the importance of encouraging self-reliance and avoiding enabling behaviors. It emphasizes loving one another, offering assistance, and sharing resources, while also cautioning against being exploited or becoming overly dependent on others. 

Here’s a more detailed look at the Biblical perspective:

1. The Call to Help:

  • The Bible strongly encourages compassion and helping those in need, regardless of their circumstances or ability to help themselves. 
  • Verses like Proverbs 31:8-9 (NLT) specifically call for speaking up for the defenseless and ensuring justice for the poor. 
  • Romans 12:13 encourages sharing with the Lord’s people who are in need and practicing hospitality. 
  • The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) highlights the importance of showing compassion and acting on the needs of others, even those who are not our immediate neighbors. 

2. Encouraging Self-Reliance:

  • While helping is crucial, the Bible also emphasizes the importance of individuals being responsible for their own lives and making positive choices. 
  • 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 suggests that those who refuse to work should not be supported. 
  • The Bible encourages hard work and striving to be self-sufficient. 
  • Verses like 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 suggest that it’s important to gently encourage and support others, but also to push them to move forward and not become stagnant. 

3. Avoiding Enabling Behaviors:

  • The Bible cautions against enabling behaviors that could perpetuate dependency and hinder personal growth. 
  • While it encourages generosity, it also discourages giving without expecting a return or expecting people to take advantage of it. 
  • Galatians 6:9 reminds us to not grow weary of doing good and to persevere in our efforts to help others, but also to be mindful of our own limits and resources. 

4. Finding the Balance:

  • The goal is to help others while also respecting their agency and encouraging them to take responsibility for their own lives. 
  • It’s important to discern the specific needs of individuals and to offer help that is both supportive and empowering, rather than simply enabling dependence. 
  • Praying for individuals, encouraging them to seek help from appropriate sources, and offering guidance and support can be effective ways to help others without enabling harmful behaviors. 

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AI Overview

+13

The Bible’s view on freeloading is that it’s generally discouraged, emphasizing the importance of work and self-reliance. While it doesn’t explicitly use the term “freeloader,” verses like 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 and 1 Thessalonians 5:14 address the issue of idleness and the need to provide for oneself. 

Here’s a more detailed breakdown:

  • Encouragement for Work and Self-Sufficiency:The Bible consistently promotes work as a means of providing for oneself and contributing to society. 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 states, “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.”. This verse implies that idleness is not acceptable and that individuals should strive to provide for themselves through labor. 
  • Concern for the Vulnerable:While the Bible encourages self-reliance, it also emphasizes the importance of helping those who are genuinely in need. Leviticus 25:35, for example, states, “If your brother becomes poor and cannot maintain himself with you, you shall support him as though he were a stranger and a sojourner, and he shall live with you.”. This verse highlights the importance of supporting those in need, but it doesn’t condone idleness or dependence. 
  • Balancing Responsibility with Compassion:The Bible calls for a balance between responsibility and compassion. While it encourages work and self-sufficiency, it also calls for compassion toward those who are genuinely unable to work. Matthew 5:42 instructs, “Give to him that asks of you,” suggesting that generosity is important, but it doesn’t necessarily mean providing for individuals who are simply choosing not to work. 
  • Warning against Exploitation:The Bible also warns against exploiting or taking advantage of others, even those in need. 2 Corinthians 11:19-21 speaks to tolerating foolishness and being willing to be taken advantage of, suggesting that while compassion is important, it’s not a one-way street. 

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CAREER PROFILE

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Career Profile Report

Your Career Profile is:

Industry Overview

Emerging Trends

Key Challenges

Potential Career Paths

Complete Report

Your Career Profile is:
Government & Law

Secondary:  Education

The career test results indicate a strong suitability for a career in government and law. This field involves serving the public, shaping policy, upholding justice, and ensuring the effective functioning of society through legal frameworks and governance. Careers in government and law require analytical thinking, ethical judgment, strong communication skills, and a deep commitment to public service. This report explores your skills, strengths, potential career paths, and personal motivations that align with a career in government and law, along with areas where further development could enhance your success in this influential and impactful field.

Industry Overview

Pillars of Society

Government and law are foundational to the functioning of societies, ensuring order, justice, and the protection of rights. These fields are crucial in shaping public policy, enforcing laws, and representing citizens.

Global Influence

Government and legal systems vary across countries but play a similar role in maintaining societal stability, regulating behavior, and resolving disputes.

Emerging Trends

Primary Style

Secondary Style

Government & Law

Legal Technology (LegalTech)

The legal profession is undergoing a transformation with the adoption of technology. AI-powered legal research tools, e-discovery software, and online dispute resolution platforms are changing how legal services are delivered.

Policy and Advocacy

With growing awareness of social justice, climate change, and data privacy, there is an increasing need for policy analysts and advocates who can shape legislation to address these critical issues.

Global Governance

As global challenges such as climate change, pandemics, and cyber threats grow, there is a greater emphasis on international law and global governance. Professionals in this field are working on creating frameworks to manage cross-border issues.

Key Challenges

Primary Style

Secondary Style

Government & Law

Public Trust

Maintaining and restoring public trust in government and legal institutions is a significant challenge. Transparency, accountability, and ethical conduct are essential to maintaining credibility and legitimacy.

Complex Regulations

The growing complexity of regulations across different sectors requires legal and government professionals to stay informed and adaptive. Navigating this complexity is critical to ensuring compliance and effective governance.

Social Justice

Addressing social justice issues, such as systemic racism, inequality, and access to justice, is a pressing challenge for government and law professionals. These issues require thoughtful policy-making and legal advocacy.

Potential Career Paths

Primary Style

Secondary Style

Government & Law

• Lawyer (Attorney)

• Policy Analyst or Advisor

• Public Administrator or Government Official

• Judge or Magistrate

• Diplomat or Foreign Service Officer

• Legislator or Elected Official

Complete Report

Your career profile is:

Government & Law

The career test results indicate a strong suitability for a career in government and law. This field involves serving the public, shaping policy, upholding justice, and ensuring the effective functioning of society through legal frameworks and governance. Careers in government and law require analytical thinking, ethical judgment, strong communication skills, and a deep commitment to public service. This report explores your skills, strengths, potential career paths, and personal motivations that align with a career in government and law, along with areas where further development could enhance your success in this influential and impactful field.

Industry Overview

  • Pillars of Society: Government and law are foundational to the functioning of societies, ensuring order, justice, and the protection of rights. These fields are crucial in shaping public policy, enforcing laws, and representing citizens.
  • Global Influence: Government and legal systems vary across countries but play a similar role in maintaining societal stability, regulating behavior, and resolving disputes.

Emerging Trends

  • Legal Technology (LegalTech): The legal profession is undergoing a transformation with the adoption of technology. AI-powered legal research tools, e-discovery software, and online dispute resolution platforms are changing how legal services are delivered.
  • Policy and Advocacy: With growing awareness of social justice, climate change, and data privacy, there is an increasing need for policy analysts and advocates who can shape legislation to address these critical issues.
  • Global Governance: As global challenges such as climate change, pandemics, and cyber threats grow, there is a greater emphasis on international law and global governance. Professionals in this field are working on creating frameworks to manage cross-border issues.

Key Skills and Strengths

  • Analytical and Critical Thinking:
    • Problem-Solving: Your ability to dissect complex issues and develop well-reasoned solutions is a significant strength in government and law. Whether interpreting legislation, analyzing policy, or constructing legal arguments, your critical thinking skills are crucial for making informed decisions.
    • Attention to Detail: Precision is essential in the legal and governmental sectors, where every word in a law, policy, or contract can have significant implications. Your meticulous approach ensures that you thoroughly review and understand all aspects of your work.
  • Communication and Persuasion:
    • Verbal Communication: The ability to articulate ideas clearly and persuasively is essential in law and government, whether presenting cases in court, debating policy, or communicating with the public. Your strong verbal communication skills enable you to advocate effectively for your positions.
    • Written Communication: Legal writing, drafting legislation, and preparing reports require precise and clear writing. Your ability to convey complex ideas in writing, with clarity and precision, is a valuable asset in this field.
  • Ethical Judgment and Integrity:
    • Commitment to Ethics: Upholding the rule of law and maintaining public trust are central to careers in government and law. Your strong sense of ethics ensures that you approach your work with integrity, making decisions that are fair, just, and in the public interest.
    • Responsibility: Handling sensitive information, representing the public, and making decisions that impact society require a deep sense of responsibility. Your commitment to ethical principles and accountability is crucial for success in this field.
  • Leadership and Public Service:
    • Leadership Qualities: Many roles in government and law involve leading teams, managing projects, or guiding public policy. Your leadership skills enable you to inspire and direct others, ensuring that goals are achieved and public services are delivered effectively.
    • Commitment to Public Service: A career in government and law is often motivated by a desire to serve the public and contribute to the common good. Your dedication to public service aligns well with the responsibilities and rewards of this field.
  • Negotiation and Conflict Resolution:
    • Diplomacy and Mediation: Whether in legal disputes, policy negotiations, or public administration, the ability to resolve conflicts and find common ground is essential. Your negotiation skills and ability to mediate effectively allow you to manage disputes and achieve consensus.

Key Challenges

  • Public Trust: Maintaining and restoring public trust in government and legal institutions is a significant challenge. Transparency, accountability, and ethical conduct are essential to maintaining credibility and legitimacy.
  • Complex Regulations: The growing complexity of regulations across different sectors requires legal and government professionals to stay informed and adaptive. Navigating this complexity is critical to ensuring compliance and effective governance.
  • Social Justice: Addressing social justice issues, such as systemic racism, inequality, and access to justice, is a pressing challenge for government and law professionals. These issues require thoughtful policy-making and legal advocacy.

Potential Career Paths

  • Lawyer (Attorney):
    • Role Description: Lawyers represent clients in legal matters, providing advice, drafting legal documents, and arguing cases in court. They may specialize in areas such as criminal law, civil rights, corporate law, or environmental law.
    • Suitability: Your analytical thinking, attention to detail, and communication skills make you well-suited for a career as a lawyer. Success in this role requires not only legal expertise but also the ability to advocate effectively for your clients.
  • Policy Analyst or Advisor:
    • Role Description: Policy analysts research, evaluate, and develop public policies, often working for government agencies, think tanks, or non-profit organizations. They provide recommendations based on data analysis and policy trends.
    • Suitability: Your problem-solving skills, ability to analyze complex issues, and commitment to public service align well with a career in policy analysis. Success in this role requires a strong understanding of political and social issues, as well as the ability to communicate policy recommendations clearly.
  • Public Administrator or Government Official:
    • Role Description: Public administrators manage government operations, implement policies, and oversee public programs. They may work at local, state, or federal levels, ensuring that government services are delivered efficiently and effectively.
    • Suitability: Your leadership skills, ethical judgment, and commitment to public service are critical for a career in public administration. Success in this field requires the ability to manage resources, lead teams, and navigate the complexities of government operations.
  • Judge or Magistrate:
    • Role Description: Judges preside over legal proceedings, ensuring that trials are conducted fairly and according to the law. They interpret laws, make rulings, and, in some cases, determine sentences for convicted individuals.
    • Suitability: Your commitment to ethics, attention to detail, and analytical skills make you well-suited for a judicial role. Success as a judge requires a deep understanding of the law, impartiality, and the ability to make sound, unbiased decisions.
  • Diplomat or Foreign Service Officer:
    • Role Description: Diplomats represent their country’s interests abroad, negotiating treaties, promoting trade, and fostering international relations. They work for the government, often through embassies or consulates, and play a key role in shaping foreign policy.
    • Suitability: Your negotiation skills, cultural sensitivity, and commitment to public service align well with a career in diplomacy. Success in this role requires strong communication skills, the ability to navigate complex international issues, and a deep understanding of global politics.
  • Legislator or Elected Official:
    • Role Description: Legislators, such as members of parliament or congress, create, amend, and vote on laws and policies. They represent their constituents’ interests and work to address public concerns through legislation.
    • Suitability: Your leadership qualities, ethical judgment, and commitment to public service are crucial for a career as an elected official. Success in this role requires the ability to communicate effectively with the public, build consensus, and navigate the political landscape.

Professional Growth Opportunities

  • Specialization: Consider specializing in a specific area of law or public policy, such as environmental law, human rights, or international relations. Specialization allows you to become an expert in a particular field and can lead to more advanced career opportunities.
  • Leadership and Public Service: Aspiring to leadership roles within government or legal organizations can significantly impact public policy and legal standards. Pursue opportunities to serve on committees, lead initiatives, or run for public office.
  • Public Speaking and Advocacy: Developing public speaking and advocacy skills is essential for those looking to influence public opinion, represent clients in court, or advocate for policy changes. Consider joining debate clubs, attending public speaking workshops, or participating in advocacy campaigns.

Personal Fit and Motivation

The test results suggest that a career in government and law aligns closely with your personal values and motivations. You are likely driven by a desire to contribute to the common good, uphold justice, and make a positive impact on society. The following factors contribute to your strong fit for a career in government and law:

  • Commitment to Justice and Fairness: Whether through legal practice or public service, your dedication to ensuring that justice is served and fairness is upheld is a core motivation. This commitment is essential in government and law, where decisions often have far-reaching consequences.
  • Passion for Public Service: A deep desire to serve the public and improve society is central to your career aspirations. Whether through creating laws, implementing policies, or representing clients, your work in government and law is motivated by a commitment to the greater good.
  • Desire for Intellectual Challenge: The complexity and intellectual rigor of government and law appeal to your analytical mind. You are motivated by the challenges these fields present, from interpreting intricate legal texts to solving complex policy issues.
  • Ethical Responsibility: The importance of ethical practice in government and law resonates with your strong sense of integrity. You are motivated to uphold the highest standards of ethical behavior, ensuring that your work contributes positively to society.

Areas for Development

While your skills and strengths position you well for a career in government and law, there are certain areas where further development could enhance your effectiveness and career satisfaction:

  • Advanced Legal Knowledge:
    • Skill Development: Depending on your chosen path, advanced legal knowledge, such as understanding specific areas of law (e.g., constitutional law, international law, or environmental law), will be crucial. Building expertise in these areas will enhance your ability to navigate complex legal issues.
    • Professional Training: Consider pursuing further education, such as a Juris Doctor (JD) degree, specialized legal certifications, or advanced training in public policy and law to deepen your understanding of your chosen field.
  • Public Speaking and Advocacy:
    • Skill Development: Success in government and law often requires effective public speaking and advocacy skills, whether in courtrooms, legislative chambers, or public forums. Developing your ability to present arguments persuasively and confidently will enhance your impact.
    • Professional Training: Explore public speaking workshops, debate clubs, or legal advocacy courses to refine your presentation skills and increase your confidence in public settings.
  • Leadership and Management:
    • Skill Development: As you advance in your career, leadership and management skills will become increasingly important, especially if you aspire to take on roles such as law firm partner, department head, or elected official. These skills will enable you to effectively lead teams, manage projects, and implement strategies that drive success.
    • Professional Training: Consider leadership development programs, management courses, or mentorship opportunities to build your leadership capabilities and prepare for future roles in management or administration.
  • Negotiation and Conflict Resolution:
    • Skill Development: The ability to negotiate effectively and resolve conflicts is crucial in government and law, where differing interests often collide. Enhancing your negotiation skills will allow you to navigate disputes more effectively and achieve better outcomes for your clients or constituents.
    • Professional Training: Engage in negotiation workshops, mediation training, or conflict resolution courses to build your skills in this area and become a more effective negotiator.

Conclusion

A career in government and law offers a meaningful and impactful path for individuals who are passionate about upholding justice, serving the public, and contributing to the effective functioning of society. Your skills, strengths, and personal motivations align closely with the demands of this field, suggesting that you have the potential to excel in various government and law roles. Whether you choose to pursue a career as a lawyer, policy analyst, public administrator, judge, or diplomat, you have the opportunity to make a lasting impact on society through your work.

As you consider your next steps, it may be beneficial to explore specific roles in more detail, seek out professional development opportunities, and connect with mentors or colleagues in the field. By continuing to build on your strengths and address areas for development, you can achieve success and fulfillment in your chosen career path in government and law.

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ResultsTests

My Assessment is?? QUESTIONABLE!!

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AH

BPD Report

Your BPD is:

Profile Breakdown

Complete Report

Your BPD is:
Self-Destructive

Secondary:  Impulsive

The self-destructive type of Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by chronic feelings of worthlessness and a pervasive belief that they do not deserve happiness, success, or love. These individuals frequently engage in behaviors that are harmful to themselves, both physically and emotionally, as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, or emptiness. Self-harm, substance abuse, reckless sexual behavior, and other forms of self-sabotage are common coping mechanisms for the self-destructive individual, who often feels trapped in a cycle of emotional pain and self-destruction.

Profile Breakdown

Relationships

In romantic relationships, the self-destructive individual may engage in behaviors that undermine the relationship, even when it is healthy and supportive. They may push their partner away through acts of emotional withdrawal, infidelity, or reckless behavior, testing their partner’s loyalty in a way that confirms their belief that they are unlovable or undeserving of a stable relationship. The self-destructive individual may simultaneously crave intimacy and fear vulnerability, leading to a pattern of emotional sabotage that leaves their partner feeling confused and hurt.

Family Dynamics

Within the family, the self-destructive individual may distance themselves emotionally or physically, feeling that they are a burden to their loved ones. Family members may feel helpless as they watch the self-destructive individual engage in harmful behaviors such as self-harm, substance abuse, or reckless decision-making. In some cases, the self-destructive individual may have experienced trauma or neglect within the family, which contributes to their feelings of worthlessness and fuels their self-destructive patterns.

Friendships

Friendships with the self-destructive type are often marked by intensity and emotional volatility. The self-destructive individual may test their friends’ loyalty by engaging in risky or harmful behaviors, seeking validation through crises or emotionally charged situations. Friends may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the self-destructive individual’s emotional pain and unsure of how to provide support.

Communication Style

The self-destructive type’s communication style is often indirect and laced with self-deprecation. They may struggle to ask for help directly, instead using harmful behaviors as a way to communicate their distress. For example, they may engage in self-harm or reckless behavior as a way to express feelings of worthlessness or rejection.

Complete Report

Your type is:

Self-Destructive

The self-destructive type of Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by chronic feelings of worthlessness and a pervasive belief that they do not deserve happiness, success, or love. These individuals frequently engage in behaviors that are harmful to themselves, both physically and emotionally, as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, or emptiness. Self-harm, substance abuse, reckless sexual behavior, and other forms of self-sabotage are common coping mechanisms for the self-destructive individual, who often feels trapped in a cycle of emotional pain and self-destruction.

Self-destructive individuals may deliberately sabotage positive aspects of their life, such as relationships, careers, or personal achievements because they believe they are undeserving of success or happiness. This pattern of self-sabotage is often rooted in a deep-seated belief that they are inherently flawed or unworthy, and as a result, they may engage in behaviors that confirm this belief. For example, they may push away loved ones or destroy opportunities for success, convinced that they will ultimately fail or be abandoned.

Relationships

In romantic relationships, the self-destructive individual may engage in behaviors that undermine the relationship, even when it is healthy and supportive. They may push their partner away through acts of emotional withdrawal, infidelity, or reckless behavior, testing their partner’s loyalty in a way that confirms their belief that they are unlovable or undeserving of a stable relationship. The self-destructive individual may simultaneously crave intimacy and fear vulnerability, leading to a pattern of emotional sabotage that leaves their partner feeling confused and hurt.

The self-destructive individual may also engage in self-harming behaviors as a way to cope with feelings of emotional pain or emptiness. These behaviors can create a sense of crisis within the relationship, as their partner may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the self-destructive individual’s emotional distress. Over time, the self-destructive individual’s inability to accept love or support may erode the relationship, as their partner becomes increasingly frustrated by their self-sabotaging behaviors.

Family Dynamics

Within the family, the self-destructive individual may distance themselves emotionally or physically, feeling that they are a burden to their loved ones. Family members may feel helpless as they watch the self-destructive individual engage in harmful behaviors such as self-harm, substance abuse, or reckless decision-making. In some cases, the self-destructive individual may have experienced trauma or neglect within the family, which contributes to their feelings of worthlessness and fuels their self-destructive patterns.

Family dynamics may become strained as the self-destructive individual oscillates between seeking emotional support and pushing their family away. They may feel unworthy of their family’s love and support, leading them to engage in behaviors that confirm their belief that they are a burden. Over time, this dynamic can create a sense of emotional distance within the family, as the self-destructive individual’s actions alienate their loved ones.

Friendships

Friendships with the self-destructive type are often marked by intensity and emotional volatility. The self-destructive individual may test their friends’ loyalty by engaging in risky or harmful behaviors, seeking validation through crises or emotionally charged situations. Friends may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the self-destructive individual’s emotional pain and unsure of how to provide support.

The self-destructive individual may push their friends away, either through emotional withdrawal or by engaging in behaviors that make it difficult to maintain a close connection. For example, they may engage in substance abuse or reckless behavior, alienating their friends in the process. Over time, friendships may deteriorate as the self-destructive individual continues to engage in behaviors that harm both themselves and those around them.

Communication Style

The self-destructive type’s communication style is often indirect and laced with self-deprecation. They may struggle to ask for help directly, instead using harmful behaviors as a way to communicate their distress. For example, they may engage in self-harm or reckless behavior as a way to express feelings of worthlessness or rejection.

This indirect communication can make it difficult for others to understand the depth of the individual’s emotional pain, leading to feelings of isolation and misunderstanding. Over time, the self-destructive individual may become increasingly withdrawn, convinced that they are unworthy of love or support. Their communication style often reflects this belief, as they may downplay their own needs or feelings, convinced that they do not deserve to be heard or supported.

Personal Growth

Personal growth for the self-destructive type is often difficult due to their deep-seated belief that they do not deserve success or happiness. Even when they achieve personal or professional milestones, they may engage in self-sabotage, convinced that they are not worthy of their accomplishments. Therapy that focuses on building self-worth, addressing trauma, and developing healthy coping mechanisms is essential for personal growth.

Learning to accept love and support from others, without feeling the need to sabotage relationships or achievements, is a critical step in breaking the cycle of self-destruction. By developing healthier ways of managing their emotions, self-destructive individuals can begin to build a more fulfilling and stable life. Therapy that focuses on emotional regulation, self-compassion, and mindfulness can help the self-destructive individual break free from the cycle of self-sabotage and develop a healthier, more stable sense of self-worth.

Recap

The self-destructive type of BPD is defined by chronic feelings of worthlessness and a pervasive belief that they do not deserve happiness, success, or love. These individuals frequently engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, such as self-harm, substance abuse, or reckless actions, as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, or emotional pain. They may also sabotage positive aspects of their life, such as relationships or career opportunities, because they believe they are inherently undeserving of success or stability. The self-destructive individual often struggles with intense emotions, and their self-sabotaging behaviors serve as both a cry for help and a means of reinforcing their belief that they are unworthy of love or care. In relationships, they may push partners away through emotional withdrawal or reckless behavior, testing their loved ones’ loyalty and confirming their fears of rejection. Family members and friends often feel powerless to help, as the self-destructive individual’s actions create a cycle of harm that is difficult to break. Therapy focused on building self-worth, emotional regulation, and healthier coping mechanisms is essential for helping individuals with the self-destructive type break free from their patterns of harm and self-sabotage.

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ResultsTests

Popular Names of Children in the United States 2025

Social Security OnlinePopular Baby NamesPopular Baby Names

Popular Names by State

May 9, 2025Background informationNumber of U. S. births based on Social Security card applications

Make another selection?
Select State
       Alabama       Alaska       Arizona       Arkansas       California       Colorado       Connecticut       Delaware       District of Columbia       Florida       Georgia       Hawaii       Idaho       Illinois       Indiana       Iowa       Kansas       Kentucky       Louisiana       Maine       Maryland       Massachusetts       Michigan       Minnesota       Mississippi       Missouri       Montana       Nebraska       Nevada       New Hampshire       New Jersey       New Mexico       New York       North Carolina       North Dakota       Ohio       Oklahoma       Oregon       Pennsylvania       Rhode Island       South Carolina       South Dakota       Tennessee       Texas       Utah       Vermont       Virginia       Washington       West Virginia       Wisconsin       Wyoming     

Enter a year between 1960-2023: 

The following table shows the 100 most frequent given names for male and female births in 2023 in Ohio. The number to the right of each name is the number of occurrences in the data. The source is a 100% sample based on Social Security card application data. See the limitations of this data source.

Popularity for top 100 names in Ohio for births in 2023RankMale nameNumber of
malesFemale nameNumber of
females1Oliver600Charlotte5102Theodore555Amelia4773Liam532Olivia4574Noah526Sophia4055Henry454Evelyn3906Elijah442Emma3837Hudson405Ava3628William389Harper3499Owen384Eleanor29910Jackson370Nora28511James367Willow27412Benjamin353Mia27213Lucas338Ellie26814Lincoln328Hazel26615Asher323Violet25916Jack317Scarlett25317Grayson314Isabella25218Maverick309Isla25119Levi307Aurora24920Michael307Layla24521Cooper283Avery23922Samuel283Luna23423Leo282Nova23124Ezra280Ivy23025Joseph276Lainey22326Wyatt276Lucy21927Luke272Aria21728Mason266Paisley21729Waylon266Lillian21530Carter265Penelope21031Thomas260Ella20832Cameron249Lily20733Luca248Chloe20634Myles235Riley19835Miles230Elizabeth19636Nolan230Gianna18737John228Josephine17438Alexander227Kinsley17339Ethan223Stella17140Everett220Mila16741Brooks218Naomi16742Charles216Abigail16643Weston216Grace16644Beau214Madison16645Jacob214Vivian16146Logan211Addison16047Andrew210Cora15848Daniel209Delilah15749Aiden203Zoey15650Gabriel202Sofia15551Colton201Quinn14952Silas198Ruby14853David197Sadie14754Matthew197Madelyn14555Rowan197Iris14356Anthony196Kennedy14357Bennett194Emery13858Roman194Maeve13859Isaac192Emilia13560Wesley192Josie13561Jameson189Oaklynn13362Parker184Claire13163Elias182Lydia13064Mateo175Eloise12965Carson174Clara12666Jaxon174Eden12567Braxton167Emily12468Josiah167Sophie12469Theo167Athena12370Caleb165Eliana12371Isaiah163Juniper12372Walker161Audrey12273Joshua157Hadley12074Landon155Adalynn11975Easton154Oakley11976Robert154Aubrey11677Emmett152Everly11578Dylan151Raelynn11579Dominic150Natalie11480Kai150Rylee11481Greyson149Millie11382Calvin146Savannah11383Xavier145Brooklyn11184Christopher144Autumn11085Micah143Elliana11086August142Gabriella10987Nathan141Rose10988Julian138Lyla10889Atlas134Anna10590Graham134Everleigh10591Jaxson134Hannah10592Archer132Remi10593Jonah132Leah10494Ezekiel131Caroline10395Milo130Daisy10296River128Eliza10197Vincent128Wrenley10198Legend127Peyton10099Jasper126Victoria100100Adam125Emersyn99Privacy Policy  | Website Policies & Other Important Information  | Site Map

Proverbs 29:11

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Proverbs 29:11 says: A fool vents all of his feelings, but a wiseman holds them back.  This means that I should not vent all of my personal feelings in public.  I should go inside of my secret closet and allow God to help me.  I also will admit that I have played the role of a fool by venting all of my feelings and emotions online and in my personal life.  This is one of the reasons why I hold onto God’s Hand.  I have to yield this information because I only wanted to be heard by someone even God.  This also puts me in another role of an angry man.  I am still a wise man, but I have a tendency to go off on a tangent rather than staying on topic.

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Next, I want to inform all of you that I really need your prayers and help.  I am under too much pressure from the Government telling me to pay my student loans.  I am under pressure again from Organized Criminals Worldwide because they are responsible for stealing my information from me and everyone else.  I do not use vulgarity and profanity of any type.  I have been staying calm as of late because I had a death in my family.  I am very sorry for making Statements that has hurt other people.

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Further, I am learning a whole lot about human behavior and how it affects me and everyone else.  I have been Court Ordered to see a therapist and a psychiatrist on a regular basis.  This is because I am responsible for making a mound out of a molehill.  I only want Jesus Christ to hear my prayers and cries for help.  Isaiah 59:2 says that our sins iniquities and transgressions have separated me from God.  I have to realize that I was a fool, but now, I am wise.

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In Addition, I have been emotionally charged as of late.  However, during the past 14 years, I had to evaluate my personal progress and my life up to this point right now.  I am a grateful recovering alcoholic.  I am establishing some form of transparency in my life right now.  Where I am right now, I have to be by myself with Jesus Christ just to get a fresh start in my life.  Honestly, I feel redeemed by God Himself.  Lord Jesus, please break my chains of bondage right now.  I am ready to be free to help You and serve You.

Finally, I want to say that I am feeling better today.  I have to take a self inventory of myself so that I can be of Service to Jesus Christ.  I have to evaluate my personal progress on a daily basis.  Thank You Jesus Christ for hearing my prayer and cries for help.  Please allow me to help others who are in my situation.  It is time to get serious about my life with Jesus Christ.  Every time I read The Bible, it opens up my eyes to see everything that is right in front of me.

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My Family Problem Right Now

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Tips to Deal with Adult Sibling Rivalry

Tips to Deal with Adult Sibling Rivalry

 July 27 2024  TalktoAngel  0 comments  1938 Views

Introduction

Sibling relationships are often some of the longest-lasting and most influential bonds in a person’s life. From childhood through adulthood, these relationships can be sources of deep connection, support, and sometimes, rivalry. While sibling rivalry is commonly associated with childhood dynamics, it can persist into adulthood, presenting unique challenges and opportunities for growth. This blog explores the dynamics of adult sibling rivalry, its underlying causes, and effective strategies for managing and improving these relationships.

Understanding Adult Sibling Rivalry

Adult sibling rivalry manifests in various ways, often rooted in longstanding dynamics established during childhood. It can range from subtle competition to overt conflict, influenced by factors such as parental favoritism, differing life choices, or unresolved issues from the past. Unlike childhood rivalry, which may fade with maturity, adult sibling rivalry can endure or resurface due to life transitions, personal achievements, or changes in family dynamics.

Causes of Adult Sibling Rivalry

1. Parental Influence:Childhood experiences of parental favoritism or differential treatment can fuel ongoing rivalry in adulthood.

2. Divergent Life Paths: Differences in career success, financial stability, or lifestyle choices can amplify feelings of competition or jealousy.

3. Unresolved Childhood Issues: Lingering resentments or unresolved conflicts from childhood can resurface and affect adult sibling relationships.

4. Family Roles: Assigned roles within the family dynamic, such as the responsible eldest or the rebellious youngest, may contribute to ongoing rivalry.

Impact on Individuals and Relationships

Adult sibling rivalry can have significant emotional and psychological impacts:

  • Stress and Anxiety:Constant comparison or competition can lead to heightened stress and anxiety.
  • Strained Relationships: Rivalry may strain relationships, leading to distance, resentment, or frequent conflict.
  • Self-Esteem Issues: Continuous comparison may negatively impact self-esteem and self-worth.
  • Family Dynamics:Rivalry can affect broader family dynamics, influencing interactions during family gatherings or celebrations.

Strategies to Manage Adult Sibling Rivalry

1. Open Communication:Initiate honest and non-confrontational conversations about feelings and concerns. Effective communication involves active listening, empathy, and expressing emotions without blame. Establish an environment where every sibling feels valued and listened to. This might involve setting aside specific times for discussions and agreeing on ground rules to ensure the conversation remains constructive.

2. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to manage expectations and respect each other’s space and decisions. Boundaries can prevent conflicts from escalating and provide a framework for acceptable behaviour.

Example: Agree on how often you will communicate and visit each other. Respect each other’s privacy and personal space by asking for permission before involving each other in personal matters.

3. Focus on Individual Growth:Shift focus from comparison to personal growth and fulfillment. This can reduce feelings of rivalry. Encourage each sibling to pursue their interests, goals, and passions.

4. Seek Mediation: Consider family therapy or mediation to facilitate constructive dialogue and resolution. This can be beneficial in facilitating constructive dialogue and resolution. A neutral third party can help navigate sensitive issues and provide strategies for better communication and conflict resolution.

5. Celebrate Differences: Appreciate and celebrate each other’s achievements and unique qualities. Recognize that differences can complement each other and strengthen the family dynamic.

Example: Create a family tradition of celebrating each sibling’s milestones and successes, such as graduations, promotions, or personal accomplishments. Highlight and value the unique strengths each sibling brings to the family.

6. Let Go of Past Grievances:Work towards forgiveness and letting go of past resentments or misunderstandings. Forgiveness and letting go of past resentments or misunderstandings are essential for moving forward. Holding onto past grievances can perpetuate conflict and prevent healing.

Example: Engage in forgiveness exercises, such as writing letters of forgiveness (whether sent or unsent) or discussing past grievances in a mediated setting. Concentrate on current and future matters instead of lingering on past disputes.

Implementing These Strategies

Implementing these strategies requires commitment and effort from all parties involved. Start by setting realistic and achievable goals, and be patient with the process. Sibling relationships can improve significantly with time, effort, and a willingness to change.

Additional Tips:

  • Practice Empathy:Try to understand the situation from your sibling’s perspective. Empathy can reduce conflicts and foster closer bonds.
  • Avoid Triangulation:Don’t involve other family members in conflicts. Deal with issues directly with the sibling involved.
  • Regular Check-ins: Maintain regular check-ins to address any ongoing issues or concerns.

By implementing these strategies, siblings can build healthier, more supportive relationships that enhance family harmony and personal well-being.

Cultivating Positive Sibling Relationships

1. Empathy and Understanding: Practice empathy to understand each other’s perspectives and experiences.

2. Shared Activities:Engage in shared activities or hobbies to foster common interests and strengthen bonds.

3. Supportive Environment:Create a supportive environment by offering encouragement and validation leading to resilience.

4. Mutual Respect:Respect each other’s choices, opinions, and boundaries without judgment.

5. Family Unity:Prioritize family unity and cooperation during important milestones or challenges.

Conclusion

Navigating adult sibling rivalry requires understanding its underlying causes, acknowledging its impact, and adopting effective strategies for improvement. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and cultivating empathy, siblings can transform rivalry into opportunities for personal growth and strengthened relationships. Online counseling with top psychologists in India can provide valuable support in this process, offering professional guidance tailored to each sibling’s needs. Additionally, consulting a child psychologist or exploring kid therapy options can address any lingering childhood issues contributing to the rivalry. Ultimately, nurturing a supportive and harmonious sibling bond contributes to overall family well-being and individual fulfillment.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Meghna Mohan, Counselling Psychologist

Reference:

Gilligan, M., Stocker, C. M., & Conger, K. J. (2020). Sibling relationships in adulthood: Research findings and new frontiers. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 12(3). https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12385

Hashim, G. R., & Ahmad, H. (2016). Family environment, sibling relationship, and rivalry towards quality of life. Environment-Behaviour Proceedings Journal, 1(3), 113. https://doi.org/10.21834/e-bpj.v1i3.356

Van Volkom, M. (2006). Sibling relationships in middle and older adulthood. Marriage & Family Review, 40(2-3), 151-170. https://doi.org/10.1300/J002v40n02_08

Brody, G. H., & Neubaum-Carlan, E. (2002). Siblings and sibling relationships. In N. J. Salkind (Ed.), Child development (pp. 363-365). Macmillan Reference USA. 

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Related Quote

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
“Children are like wet cement whatever falls on them makes an impression.”  
“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” 
“The cheerful mind perseveres, and the strong mind hews its way through a thousand difficulties.”
“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.”
“We love the things we love for what they are.”...

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” – Arthur Somers Roche

“Children are like wet cement whatever falls on them makes an impression.”   – Haim Ginott

“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.”  – Margaret Mead

“The cheerful mind perseveres, and the strong mind hews its way through a thousand difficulties.” – Swami Vivekananda

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“We love the things we love for what they are.”… – Robert Frost

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Tips to Deal with Adult Sibling Rivalry

Tips to Deal with Adult Sibling Rivalry

 July 27 2024  TalktoAngel  0 comments  1938 Views

Introduction

Sibling relationships are often some of the longest-lasting and most influential bonds in a person’s life. From childhood through adulthood, these relationships can be sources of deep connection, support, and sometimes, rivalry. While sibling rivalry is commonly associated with childhood dynamics, it can persist into adulthood, presenting unique challenges and opportunities for growth. This blog explores the dynamics of adult sibling rivalry, its underlying causes, and effective strategies for managing and improving these relationships.

Understanding Adult Sibling Rivalry

Adult sibling rivalry manifests in various ways, often rooted in longstanding dynamics established during childhood. It can range from subtle competition to overt conflict, influenced by factors such as parental favoritism, differing life choices, or unresolved issues from the past. Unlike childhood rivalry, which may fade with maturity, adult sibling rivalry can endure or resurface due to life transitions, personal achievements, or changes in family dynamics.

Causes of Adult Sibling Rivalry

1. Parental Influence:Childhood experiences of parental favoritism or differential treatment can fuel ongoing rivalry in adulthood.

2. Divergent Life Paths: Differences in career success, financial stability, or lifestyle choices can amplify feelings of competition or jealousy.

3. Unresolved Childhood Issues: Lingering resentments or unresolved conflicts from childhood can resurface and affect adult sibling relationships.

4. Family Roles: Assigned roles within the family dynamic, such as the responsible eldest or the rebellious youngest, may contribute to ongoing rivalry.

Impact on Individuals and Relationships

Adult sibling rivalry can have significant emotional and psychological impacts:

  • Stress and Anxiety:Constant comparison or competition can lead to heightened stress and anxiety.
  • Strained Relationships: Rivalry may strain relationships, leading to distance, resentment, or frequent conflict.
  • Self-Esteem Issues: Continuous comparison may negatively impact self-esteem and self-worth.
  • Family Dynamics:Rivalry can affect broader family dynamics, influencing interactions during family gatherings or celebrations.

Strategies to Manage Adult Sibling Rivalry

1. Open Communication:Initiate honest and non-confrontational conversations about feelings and concerns. Effective communication involves active listening, empathy, and expressing emotions without blame. Establish an environment where every sibling feels valued and listened to. This might involve setting aside specific times for discussions and agreeing on ground rules to ensure the conversation remains constructive.

2. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to manage expectations and respect each other’s space and decisions. Boundaries can prevent conflicts from escalating and provide a framework for acceptable behaviour.

Example: Agree on how often you will communicate and visit each other. Respect each other’s privacy and personal space by asking for permission before involving each other in personal matters.

3. Focus on Individual Growth:Shift focus from comparison to personal growth and fulfillment. This can reduce feelings of rivalry. Encourage each sibling to pursue their interests, goals, and passions.

4. Seek Mediation: Consider family therapy or mediation to facilitate constructive dialogue and resolution. This can be beneficial in facilitating constructive dialogue and resolution. A neutral third party can help navigate sensitive issues and provide strategies for better communication and conflict resolution.

5. Celebrate Differences: Appreciate and celebrate each other’s achievements and unique qualities. Recognize that differences can complement each other and strengthen the family dynamic.

Example: Create a family tradition of celebrating each sibling’s milestones and successes, such as graduations, promotions, or personal accomplishments. Highlight and value the unique strengths each sibling brings to the family.

6. Let Go of Past Grievances:Work towards forgiveness and letting go of past resentments or misunderstandings. Forgiveness and letting go of past resentments or misunderstandings are essential for moving forward. Holding onto past grievances can perpetuate conflict and prevent healing.

Example: Engage in forgiveness exercises, such as writing letters of forgiveness (whether sent or unsent) or discussing past grievances in a mediated setting. Concentrate on current and future matters instead of lingering on past disputes.

Implementing These Strategies

Implementing these strategies requires commitment and effort from all parties involved. Start by setting realistic and achievable goals, and be patient with the process. Sibling relationships can improve significantly with time, effort, and a willingness to change.

Additional Tips:

  • Practice Empathy:Try to understand the situation from your sibling’s perspective. Empathy can reduce conflicts and foster closer bonds.
  • Avoid Triangulation:Don’t involve other family members in conflicts. Deal with issues directly with the sibling involved.
  • Regular Check-ins: Maintain regular check-ins to address any ongoing issues or concerns.

By implementing these strategies, siblings can build healthier, more supportive relationships that enhance family harmony and personal well-being.

Cultivating Positive Sibling Relationships

1. Empathy and Understanding: Practice empathy to understand each other’s perspectives and experiences.

2. Shared Activities:Engage in shared activities or hobbies to foster common interests and strengthen bonds.

3. Supportive Environment:Create a supportive environment by offering encouragement and validation leading to resilience.

4. Mutual Respect:Respect each other’s choices, opinions, and boundaries without judgment.

5. Family Unity:Prioritize family unity and cooperation during important milestones or challenges.

Conclusion

Navigating adult sibling rivalry requires understanding its underlying causes, acknowledging its impact, and adopting effective strategies for improvement. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and cultivating empathy, siblings can transform rivalry into opportunities for personal growth and strengthened relationships. Online counseling with top psychologists in India can provide valuable support in this process, offering professional guidance tailored to each sibling’s needs. Additionally, consulting a child psychologist or exploring kid therapy options can address any lingering childhood issues contributing to the rivalry. Ultimately, nurturing a supportive and harmonious sibling bond contributes to overall family well-being and individual fulfillment.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Meghna Mohan, Counselling Psychologist

Reference:

Gilligan, M., Stocker, C. M., & Conger, K. J. (2020). Sibling relationships in adulthood: Research findings and new frontiers. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 12(3). https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12385

Hashim, G. R., & Ahmad, H. (2016). Family environment, sibling relationship, and rivalry towards quality of life. Environment-Behaviour Proceedings Journal, 1(3), 113. https://doi.org/10.21834/e-bpj.v1i3.356

Van Volkom, M. (2006). Sibling relationships in middle and older adulthood. Marriage & Family Review, 40(2-3), 151-170. https://doi.org/10.1300/J002v40n02_08

Brody, G. H., & Neubaum-Carlan, E. (2002). Siblings and sibling relationships. In N. J. Salkind (Ed.), Child development (pp. 363-365). Macmillan Reference USA. 

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Related Quote

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
“Children are like wet cement whatever falls on them makes an impression.”  
“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” 
“The cheerful mind perseveres, and the strong mind hews its way through a thousand difficulties.”
“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.”
“We love the things we love for what they are.”...

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” – Arthur Somers Roche

“Children are like wet cement whatever falls on them makes an impression.”   – Haim Ginott

“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.”  – Margaret Mead

“The cheerful mind perseveres, and the strong mind hews its way through a thousand difficulties.” – Swami Vivekananda

“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.” – Natalie Goldberg

“We love the things we love for what they are.”… – Robert Frost

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