What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
I honestly enjoy giving God His Praise for allowing me to breathe His Breath of Life every day and I thank Him for waking me up this morning and every morning. I thank Him for allowing me to utilize my five senses and for giving me the ability to move my bodily limbs, and finally, I thank God for allowing me to read His Word which comes from the Sword of the Spirit. I do have three jobs to do each day of the week. First thing, to edify the Saints each day with an encouraging words for peace and harmony worldwide. Second, I read His Word on a daily basis to give myself an uplifting quotes and songs from God. Finally, I go to the library every day to use the computer to send greetings and salutations to all of my Facebook Group of Spiritual Friends and family members. I also give God any amount of time that He needs me. I do attend Bible Study and Church each weekday during the morning and evening. Therefore, if God need me to do something for Him and everyone else I will do it. God Bless All of You.
Praise the Lord Saints!! Praise the Lord Everyone!! How are you doing today? Fine, I hope. This is a James 5:16 Moment. The reason why I am sharing this information is simply because I feel that my foundation is falling underneath me right now. I have been physically drained for the past few months right now. This has happened all of a sudden. I was not aware of my physical problems since September 17, 2019. This happened during the time that I had suffered from my Breakthrough Seizure.
Next, I want to inform all of you that God’s love is inside of me right now. I realize that my foundation is falling underneath me right now. Why, this is simply because I have been feeling drained and tired all of the time. I realize that a lot of people depend on me; inside of my hometown of Dayton, Ohio. I know that I do not want to become a burden on all of my family members. I have been under a lot of stress right now. This is simply because of things that are beyond my control.
My family members do not know how sick I really am right now. I realize that my family members have their own lives right now. It is that everyone in my family are growing up and trying to establish an identity for themselves. God really loves all of us. He has given us His grace and mercy so that He can sustain all of us. I am losing my memory on a daily basis. This is because I have a lot of physical ailments. I am taking a total of 38 pills per day.
Further, I want to inform all of you that I have not actually done anything for myself in a very long time. I realize that I am getting older right now. It is that a person is as old as they really feel from the inside out. I want to inform all of you that it is God that is doing for me more than I am doing for myself. God still have me here for a reason. I have experienced a death in the family twice in one-year 2023. I lost my Nephew and Uncle last year due to their deaths. I am losing my memory because I have Alzheimer’s.
Moreover, I want to inform everyone that my neighbors have been talking about me, but not inside of my face. That is a complete shame. You see, I do not drink alcohol, and smoke anything in over 25 years now. I have not consumed anything that are controlled substances in a very long time.
In Addition, I am very sick right now. I am sharing this information with all of you because I really need all of your prayers. I know that I have Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior right now. I want to say that I really need all of you to please read all of my essays, and tell me what you think. If the Lord’s will, I will copyright all of my writings by the end of this calendar year.
I want to also inform everyone that I cannot have any children because I have cysts on my scrotum. I have sustained an injury while playing football back in 1979.
Finally, I want to inform all of you that it is the Lord that provides for us, and not ourselves. I want to say that I really love all of you very much. I know that some people are not talking to me right now. It does not make sense to lose friends and family members because of my intimate relationship that I have in Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is my Personal Savior and I adore my relationship that I have with Him. Please keep me in your prayers, and I love all of you very much. Please take care of yourselves. God Loves You and So Do I. I am still holding onto God’s Righteous Right Hand.
Proverbs 29:11 says: A fool vents all of his feelings, but a wiseman holds them back. This means that I should not vent all of my personal feelings in public. I should go inside of my secret closet and allow God to help me. I also will admit that I have played the role of a fool by venting all of my feelings and emotions online and in my personal life. This is one of the reasons why I hold onto God’s Hand. I have to yield this information because I only wanted to be heard by someone even God. This also puts me in another role of an angry man. I am still a wise man, but I have a tendency to go off on a tangent rather than staying on topic.
Next, I want to inform all of you that I really need your prayers and help. I am under too much pressure from the Government telling me to pay my student loans. I am under pressure again from Organized Criminals Worldwide because they are responsible for stealing my information from me and everyone else. I do not use vulgarity and profanity of any type. I have been staying calm as of late because I had a death in my family. I am very sorry for making Statements that has hurt other people.
Further, I am learning a whole lot about human behavior and how it affects me and everyone else. I have been Court Ordered to see a therapist and a psychiatrist on a regular basis. This is because I am responsible for making a mound out of a molehill. I only want Jesus Christ to hear my prayers and cries for help. Isaiah 59:2 says that our sins iniquities and transgressions have separated me from God. I have to realize that I was a fool, but now, I am wise.
In Addition, I have been emotionally charged as of late. However, during the past 14 years, I had to evaluate my personal progress and my life up to this point right now. I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I am establishing some form of transparency in my life right now. Where I am right now, I have to be by myself with Jesus Christ just to get a fresh start in my life. Honestly, I feel redeemed by God Himself. Lord Jesus, please break my chains of bondage right now. I am ready to be free to help You and serve You.
Finally, I want to say that I am feeling better today. I have to take a self inventory of myself so that I can be of Service to Jesus Christ. I have to evaluate my personal progress on a daily basis. Thank You Jesus Christ for hearing my prayer and cries for help. Please allow me to help others who are in my situation. It is time to get serious about my life with Jesus Christ. Every time I read The Bible, it opens up my eyes to see everything that is right in front of me.
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Grace and Effort
January 24, 2024
“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.” – 1 Corinthians 15:10
Life is full of hard things. It is just a fact. There is no escaping or avoiding this reality. Whether it is facing a giant obstacle like an illness or divorce, or trudging through daily demands when there is seemingly never enough time, energy, or resources, life can be hard. Let me ask you a question: What goes through your mind when you move from the easy to the difficult? As followers of Jesus, we should be living a life that steps beyond what is comfortable to what is necessary. We not only experience the hardships of life – sometimes we choose them for the sake of Christ and His Kingdom. This is where grace comes in.
The truth behind everything in our lives – both the easy and the hard – is the grace of God. 1 Corinthians 4:7 poses the (rhetorical) question: “What do you have that you did not receive?” There is a mental approach to doing hard things that is of great spiritual benefit. This approach deals with how God’s grace and our effort work together. When we find ourselves in situations that are particularly hard – whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, or mental – our minds will immediately start searching for motivation to persevere. The easiest motivations are self-absorbed, like wanting to succeed, or to look good to other people. The mind will always default to these shallow motivations if it isn’t occupied with something – or Someone – greater.
What if we trained our minds to default to grace? What if our motivation became the demonstration of God’s grace in how we respond to our hardship? It hurts to go on. We don’t want to choose joy, or forgiveness, or service, yet we do. By His grace, we do. Each time we choose to walk in obedience, we are testifying that God’s grace enables us to do hard things. In that moment, God’s grace carries us…and yet we are working…the perfect dance of grace and effort. We can work out our salvation, having full assurance that we are saved by grace, not by our works.
Dear Lord, help me to work hard, by Your grace. I want my life to be used for the advancement of Your Kingdom. In Jesus’ name, amen.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
I have not been skating since 1997. However, I have not been to Bethel Church of God in Christ since my mother was alive in 2017. Bethel Church of God in Christ is located in Dayton, Ohio on Germantown Street. It is our Family First Church that my Grandparents took me to Church when I was a little boy during the 1970s. This Church is located five miles from where I live at right now. I still have my Children’s Bible at my grandparents house a few miles away. May The Lord God put it in my heart to visit my family members Church in Dayton, Ohio. Otherwise, I have not been to the Dayton Montgomery County Air Show since 1981 at the Dayton International Airport. I have a lot to do inside of my own hometown of Dayton, Ohio. On my Bucket List, I would like to visit Toledo Ohio.
What is Schizoid Affective Disorder? Schizoid Affective Disorder is a mental illness that is caused by a chemical imbalance inside of the brain just like Bipolar Disorder. The symptoms of Schizoid Affective Disorder are mania, depressive symptoms, thinking that you are being controlled by someone or something, disorganized thinking and finally delusions. I was first diagnosed with Schizoid Affective Disorder on Tuesday July 15, 1997 in Charlotte NC. I remember taking Prednisone for a skin problem one month earlier. I remember traveling to Charlotte NC on Sunday June 15, 1997. I stayed at a hotel on South Tryon Street called the Ashcot Inn it was exactly one block from the Uptown Cabaret Night Club. I do remember the temperature was 96 degrees outside in Charlotte NC. I remember catching the cab to the hotel. I ate a pizza and other junk food all day long.
Next, I stayed at another hotel on Monday June 16, 1997. The hotel was called The Roadway Inn on West Trade Street. I spent another night at the hotel and on Tuesday June 17, 1997, I walked to the Uptown Shelter and I stayed there for a total of 8 months. The first few weeks, I slept on the floor until I was scheduled to get a bed on June 30, 1997. I had to get up at 5:00am in the morning every single day for 8 months. I had to walk a total of 9 miles to the Chemical Dependency Center located on Billingsley Road in Charlotte NC. I remember being in the hospital for a total of 5 weeks. I remember going to an Agency called the Access Project. This agency helped me to get on Social Security. I stayed with Access Project for 8 years. My AA Sponsor name was Billy Godwin. He was my Sponsor for a total of 15 years. He was a Chemical Dependency Counselor for over 40 years. I had a lot of fun down there by going to UNC- Charlotte for three years. During the years, I was living at an apartment complex called Charlottetown Terrace Apartments located on Baxter Street in Charlotte NC. I stayed there for almost three years. I remember publishing my first book called The Best of Anthony Hopkins. However I ran into a snag by dealing with two women at the same time. I had to go back to Dayton, Ohio for an extended period of time. I stayed with my sister for a few months. I came back to Charlotte NC for a total of 10 years.
Further, I came back to Charlotte NC for 10 years. I remember working at UNC-Charlotte for a total of 8 years. I lost my job because I was looking at porn online on my work computer. Prior to that, I was working at UPS for a total of 4 months. I remember my first paycheck someone stole it. It took me at least one month just to get paid from the job. I also worked at temporary Job services for a total of 8 months. When I got the job at the library in Charlotte NC, I was happy for a total of 8 years. Afterwards, I lost my job and I became homeless again. This was also a time when I got scammed by some Africans and they swindled me out of $18,000 dollars in Western Union Funds. I was also a victim of a pyramid scheme. I worked so hard just to lose the money as soon as I got it.
Finally, I have been here in Dayton, Ohio for a total of 14 years now. I published two more books called Essays and My Grace is Sufficient for Me. The people who published my books is Authorhouse Publications in Bloomington Indiana. My book is not selling right now. I live in my apartment building called Wentworth Hi Rise Apartments located on Wentworth Avenue in Dayton, Ohio. I have been living here for 13 years now. I have been clean and sober for 33 years now. I had to get honest and truthful with everyone about my personal recovery. I have been Court Ordered to take medicine and attending my doctor’s appointments each month. I have been Court Ordered again to therapy and taking 38 pills per day for a lot of physical and mental ailments. Recently I lost one of my Uncle’s last year. Uncle Johnnie Funeral was yesterday. If I would have went to the funeral, I would have been fighting my own family members. I found out that my father is a Caucasian male. Therefore I am a Biracial Person. The truth is I never knew my own father. I was a product of infidelity. My mother died with her secrets as well as my sister and grandmother. I have been hearing voices for a total of 15 years now. It hurts me to have a mental illness right now. I also suffer from Alzheimer’s and Schizophrenia as well as Andropause which is the male version of menopause. I have been taking medication for a mental illness for almost 30 years now. This is the reason why I am in need of prayers from everyone right now. Thank you for reading my essay.
Proverbs 27:19 says: As the water reflects the face so the heart reflects the person. This means that our reflection inside of a mirror or water does not tell you how you are feeling, it is the heart that tells everything about you. Honestly, I have been withholding a lot of my emotions during the past 29 years. It appears to me that I feel more angrier than usual. I will admit that I have been feeling irritated about small stuff. I am a person who has common sense, but I am using my mind to hold things up. The people that I have dealt with in the past have turned face. These people are slandering me, but not directly to my face.
Next, I have been still clean and sober for 33 years now. My AA Sponsor told me in my face that I only took a sip of wine, it doesn’t mean that I relapsed in my personal recovery. I did not drink alcohol or anything else since. I will admit that I have been exposed to fentanyl for the third time in six months. The people who live at Wentworth Hi Rise Apartments have been smoking marijuana and fentanyl. There is one major dealer of marijuana and fentanyl mixed up together. I do not understand why these people are smoking an animal tranquilizer drugs that are used for large animals.
Moreover, I want to inform all of you that someone died in the building last night from fentanyl mixed with marijuana. My heart is in pain right now. I have been feeling depressed and sad over the death of my Uncle Johnnie. I know that I have been staying in the apartment complex as of late. My Sponsor told me not to worry about it. I will see him again in heaven. I am a 58 year old man who has a lot of physical and mental ailments. I am having hot flashes right now. I am suffering from Alzheimer’s and Andropause which is the male version of menopause.
Also, I have been moody and having mood swings during an eight year period. I supposed that I am ruled by my emotions. I can still do things for myself right now. This means that I am more moodier than usual. I have to sleep on the floor in the bedroom. I have been writing down everything that I can remember throughout the whole day. I guess when you have Alzheimer’s and Schizophrenia at the same time. The Neurologist stated that I am too young to take Alzheimer’s medication right now. I am so sleepy that I almost burn up my food that I had cooking inside of the kitchen.
Finally, I want to inform all of you that I am literally out of shape physically and mentally and emotionally right now. I am much more emotional than usual. When I think about Proverbs 27:19, it really helps me to Repent of my sins, iniquities and transgressions. Someone told me to my face that I am going to change physically, mentally, and emotionally. Whoever told me this information they were very concerned about my future right now. I suffer from Type 2 Diabetes Full Blown right now. The doctor told me to check my blood sugar levels every eight hours now. The doctor told me to check my blood pressure as well.
In Conclusion, I have been having memory lapses and back problems as well as mental stress. I have been doing things on a day to day basis. I am having a hard time losing weight and keeping it off. I have been breathing very heavy right now. I have been reading the Bible just to soothe my soul. God is watching over me very carefully because I have a tendency to get manic at times. Currently, I do have behavior problems since 1997. I remember on Tuesday July 15, 1997; I went to jail for aggravated assault because I was taking Prednisone 60mg for one month. The medicine had me sleeping only two hours per night. I had to get off of the medicine before it kills me literally.
In Summary, I am doing good today. I am self evaluating my own behavior. My Therapist did not know that Satan’s controls the internet traffic worldwide. I told my family members that I am having issues with my apartment building right now. Lord Jesus, please help me with my own behavior right now. This is one of the reasons why I cannot travel out of state for a while now. Lord Jesus please help me to get control of my emotions. I will also ask you to please keep me in peace. I need everlasting peace with You and God the Father. I love all of you!! I need a job and a life with someone with the opposite sex right now. Lord Jesus, please help me to write down everything that is bothering me. My life is unmanageable right now. Please let me know if I can go to heaven with you. Please help me with my family members and friends behavior right now. Thank You For Your Understanding and Your Peace. God Bless All of You: Who are reading my essay. Please feel free to comment on what you have read about Proverbs 27:19.
The First thing that I do for fun is pray and Thank God for His Breath of Life and His Mercy Endures Forever. The second thing that I do for fun is read the Holy Bible every single day of the week. The third thing that I do for fun is attend Fort McKinley United Methodist Church on Sunday and Tuesday for Bible Study. The fourth thing that I do for fun is go to the Northwest Branch Library located on Hillcrest and Philadelphia Drive in Dayton Ohio. I use the computer and send email to my friends and family members. The fifth thing that I do for fun is travel anywhere in my hometown of Dayton Ohio Area and the Continental United States.
Today is my Uncle Johnnie Funeral. I did not attend the funeral because the funeral was out of state. I didn’t have any money so I decided to stay home. My Uncle Johnnie and I really did not get along with each other. I am very happy that Uncle Johnnie lived 80 years on earth. I guess when you do not get along, it is best for me to avoid trouble by staying away from everyone right now.
Next, I didn’t feel like arguing with anyone over our family issues. When I looked at Uncle Johnnie picture people think that I looked exactly like him. I would rather keep this to myself. My father and I didn’t know each other anyway. Frankly, I am a Biracial child. I just recently found out that my father was a Caucasian male. It has taken me 58 years to find this out. I am not able to show my Uncle Johnnie picture because it would upset the entire family.
Further, I want to inform all of you that my Grandfather did not want to respect my grandmother because she told the truth about him. I actually thought and believed that another man was my father. The person whom I thought was my father told me that he was not my father. You see something, that has been the story of my entire life. My 58 years has been filled with ups and downs behaviorally. Perhaps, I was thinking in advance because I didn’t want to trouble anyone else with my problems that are inside of my apartment building. The apartment building is infested with bedbugs and other insects. There are even bats inside of the building. I have presented pictures of the entire building last year.
In Addition, I want to inform all of you that I have children of my own. However, my children know all about me. It is that I was making a lot of mistakes in my personal life. My own family members do not know that I have children. I have to go out of state just to resolve this matter. My Chinese Zodiac sign is the Snake. You see, snake children are highly intelligent and gifted academically. I know exactly where my children are located right now. My grandparents told me in my face that I was wise before my time. My grandparents raised me as one of their own children.
Moreover, I want to say that I made children that I did not raise on my own. I will admit that I was a sperm donor that is the term that these Millennium Children today use as a means of disrespect. I supposed that if you are a product of infidelity, your life tend to change either for the better or negatively. I was not at my Uncle Johnnie Funeral, but my presence is felt everywhere. I even have relatives that look exactly like me. I guess whenever a child grows up without a father it has a real impact on their own lives. Uncle Johnnie is going to be missed forever by me.
Finally, I did not resolve anything with him. My Uncle Johnnie told me in my face that I was nothing to him. He also told me that I was not going to be successful in life. It really hurts a child when they hear sarcasm coming from the mouth of their own relatives. My Uncle Johnnie was good to his own children. Anytime there is infidelity inside of the family, it affects everyone else in the family. My relatives do not accept each other. I cannot share something that I do not have. Anytime that there are issues in the family, it hurts everyone.
In Conclusion, I am a very honest and truthful person. I am very sorry that I didn’t have a personal relationship with my Uncle Johnnie. I remember when I was mailing invitations to my college graduation and I mailed him an invitation but I didn’t see him in 1993 or 1995 when I graduated from the University of Toledo. I cannot dwell on the past, I have to live in the here and now. Whatever is in front of me, I will address it. I cannot reflect on the former things nor of the things of old. This is a Bible verse from Isaiah. I have to listen to Jesus Christ because He has all of the answers to all of our questions. God Bless All of You 🙏🙏🙏
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?
I would make my three dogs and cats understand one thing is that I really love and power appreciate my pets. I would share the same Love that God has shown me throughout the years. If I love something I really love very hard because I want all of my cats and dogs to know that I have unconditional love for everyone including my animals. I am willing to walk and talk with my animals because I have trained them to love me personally as well as each dog or cat who were pets that were inside of my house. You know something, I have learned a whole lot from sleeping outside with them. My dogs and cats had my last name Hopkins as the Owner of my pets. This is making me cry because I miss all of my animals. My dogs and cats protect me and my household in Charlotte, NC. No matter what I have come into contact with as a human being animal relationship. I miss all of my animals in Charlotte NC and Dayton, Ohio. My dogs and cats understand why I Love them all of the time. Please keep me lifted up in prayer because I have lost my nephew and Uncle Johnnie last year. I Love and I love really hard. I am crying tears of sadness and Joy. God Bless All of You 🙏🙏🙏. May God be with you.
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