Proverbs 27:19 says: As the water reflects the face so the heart reflects the person.  This means that our reflection inside of a mirror or water does not tell you how you are feeling, it is the heart that tells everything about you.  Honestly, I have been withholding a lot of my emotions during the past 29 years.  It appears to me that I feel more angrier than usual.  I will admit that I have been feeling irritated about small stuff.  I am a person who has common sense, but I am using my mind to hold things up.  The people that I have dealt with in the past have turned face.  These people are slandering me, but not directly to my face.

Next, I have been still clean and sober for 33 years now.  My AA Sponsor told me in my face that I only took a sip of wine, it doesn’t mean that I relapsed in my personal recovery.  I did not drink alcohol or anything else since.  I will admit that I have been exposed to fentanyl for the third time in six months.  The people who live at Wentworth Hi Rise Apartments have been smoking marijuana and fentanyl.  There is one major dealer of marijuana and fentanyl mixed up together.  I do not understand why these people are smoking an animal tranquilizer drugs that are used for large animals.

Moreover, I want to inform all of you that someone died in the building last night from fentanyl mixed with marijuana.  My heart is in pain right now.  I have been feeling depressed and sad over the death of my Uncle Johnnie.  I know that I have been staying in the apartment complex as of late. My Sponsor told me not to worry about it.  I will see him again in heaven.  I am a 58 year old man who has a lot of physical and mental ailments.  I am having hot flashes right now.  I am suffering from Alzheimer’s and Andropause which is the male version of menopause.  

Also, I have been moody and having mood swings during an eight year period.  I supposed that I am ruled by my emotions.  I can still do things for myself right now.  This means that I am more moodier than usual.  I have to sleep on the floor in the bedroom.  I have been writing down everything that I can remember throughout the whole day.  I guess when you have Alzheimer’s and Schizophrenia at the same time.  The Neurologist stated that I am too young to take Alzheimer’s medication right now.  I am so sleepy that I almost burn up my food that I had cooking inside of the kitchen.

Finally, I want to inform all of you that I am literally out of shape physically and mentally and emotionally right now.  I am much more emotional than usual.  When I think about Proverbs 27:19, it really helps me to Repent of my sins, iniquities and transgressions.  Someone told me to my face that I am going to change physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Whoever told me this information they were very concerned about my future right now.  I suffer from Type 2 Diabetes Full Blown right now.  The doctor told me to check my blood sugar levels every eight hours now.  The doctor told me to check my blood pressure as well.

In Conclusion, I have been having memory lapses and back problems as well as mental stress.  I have been doing things on a day to day basis.  I am having a hard time losing weight and keeping it off.  I have been breathing very heavy right now.  I have been reading the Bible just to soothe my soul.  God is watching over me very carefully because I have a tendency to get manic at times.  Currently, I do have behavior problems since 1997.  I remember on Tuesday July 15, 1997; I went to jail for aggravated assault because I was taking Prednisone 60mg for one month.  The medicine had me sleeping only two hours per night.  I had to get off of the medicine before it kills me literally.  

In Summary, I am doing good today.  I am self evaluating my own behavior.  My Therapist did not know that Satan’s controls the internet traffic worldwide.  I told my family members that I am having issues with my apartment building right now.  Lord Jesus, please help me with my own behavior right now.  This is one of the reasons why I cannot travel out of state for a while now.  Lord Jesus please help me to get control of my emotions.  I will also ask you to please keep me in peace.  I need everlasting peace with You and God the Father.  I love all of you!!  I need a job and a life with someone with the opposite sex right now.  Lord Jesus, please help me to write down everything that is bothering me.  My life is unmanageable right now.  Please let me know if I can go to heaven with you.  Please help me with my family members and friends behavior right now.  Thank You For Your Understanding and Your Peace.  God Bless All of You: Who are reading my essay.  Please feel free to comment on what you have read about Proverbs 27:19.