At first sight, the ancient virtue of humility is not a particularly appealing one.
Deriving from the word humus (earth), it appears to clash with our current valuation of self-worth and self-realization.https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?us_privacy=1—&client=ca-pub-6820706795814886&output=html&h=90&adk=3726366595&adf=2228399472&w=728&lmt=1698668851&rafmt=12&channel=1750616937&format=728×90&url=https%3A%2F%2Fpositivepsychology.com%2Fhumility%2F&ea=0&wgl=1&uach=WyJXaW5kb3dzIiwiMTAuMC4wIiwieDg2IiwiIiwiMTE4LjAuNTk5My4xMTgiLFtdLDAsbnVsbCwiNjQiLFtbIkNocm9taXVtIiwiMTE4LjAuNTk5My4xMTgiXSxbIkdvb2dsZSBDaHJvbWUiLCIxMTguMC41OTkzLjExOCJdLFsiTm90PUE_QnJhbmQiLCI5OS4wLjAuMCJdXSwxXQ..&dt=1699036941890&bpp=3&bdt=289&idt=348&shv=r20231101&mjsv=m202310310101&ptt=9&saldr=aa&abxe=1&correlator=1643053120331&frm=20&pv=2&ga_vid=1308793723.1699036942&ga_sid=1699036942&ga_hid=274650036&ga_fc=0&u_tz=-240&u_his=3&u_h=1080&u_w=1920&u_ah=1040&u_aw=1920&u_cd=24&u_sd=1&dmc=8&adx=588&ady=1063&biw=1903&bih=963&scr_x=0&scr_y=0&eid=44759876%2C44759927%2C44759837%2C31079190%2C31079193%2C42532335%2C44807048%2C44807334%2C44807454%2C31078301%2C44807405%2C44806140&oid=2&pvsid=2680738279109695&tmod=1989577272&uas=0&nvt=1&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&fc=896&brdim=0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C1920%2C0%2C1920%2C1040%2C1920%2C963&vis=1&rsz=%7C%7CoeEbr%7C&abl=CS&pfx=0&fu=256&bc=31&psd=W251bGwsbnVsbCxudWxsLDNd&ifi=1&uci=a!1&btvi=1&fsb=1&dtd=371
But humility has nothing to do with meekness or weakness. And neither does it mean being self-effacing or submissive. Humility is an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously.
In the past decade in particular, psychologists have rediscovered the importance of humility. They have established fascinating links between humility and our ability to learn and be effective leaders, and our readiness to engage in prosocial behavior.
Adopting a more humble mindset increases our overall psychological wellbeing and ensures our social functioning. Last but not least, humility is a perfect antidote to the self-fixated spirit of our age.
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This Article Contains:
- The History of Humility
- What Is Humility in Psychology?
- Humility as a Character Strength
- Why Is Humility Important?
- 5 Real-Life Examples
- How to Practice Humility
- 5 Exercises for Fostering Humility
- 4 Tips for Raising a Humble Kid
- Techniques for Humble Leadership and Workplace
- The Importance of Humility in Relationships
- 2 Books on the Topic
- A Take-Home Message
- References
The History of Humility
Humility is a core value in many ancient ethical and theological frameworks. The Confucian form of humility, for example, is profoundly other oriented in spirit, consistently valuing the social good over the satisfaction of our individual aspirations. In this ancient Chinese form, humility can significantly enhance social cohesion and our sense of belonging.
The Greek philosopher Socrates held that wisdom is, above all, knowing what we don’t know. He taught an intellectual form of humility that freely acknowledges the gaps in our knowledge and that humbly seeks to address our blind spots.
Aristotle understood humility as a moral virtue, sandwiched between the vices of arrogance and moral weakness. Like Socrates, he believed that humility must include accurate self-knowledge and a generous acknowledgment of the qualities of others that avoids distortion and extremes.
An accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses is still a core feature of current definitions of humility.
Christian humility is linked to self-abnegation, shame, and sin and may therefore not be to everyone’s taste. However, the ancient theologians can still help us to avoid arrogance and pretentiousness. They remind us that we are members of a species that is far from perfect and urge us to be mindful of the limited role we each have to play in the fate of humanity as a whole.
Through the centuries, the importance of humility as a moral character virtue has faded. However, psychological studies of humility have surged in the last two decades (Worthington, Davis, & Hook, 2017). This renewed interest in humility is, in no small part, a counter-reaction to what the authors of The Narcissism Epidemic, Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell (2009), have described as our “age of entitlement.”
Today, self-realization and enhancing our self-worth are our highest aspirations. Precisely because it provides an antidote to many worrying tendencies of our age, such as arrogance, greed, and self-centeredness (all of which also have devastating consequences for our democracies and our planet), humility is experiencing a much-needed revival.
What Is Humility in Psychology?
We can understand humility not just as a virtue but also as a psychological trait. At a basic level, humility relates to the degree to which we value and promote our interests above others.
Capturing our other-orientation, it is closely related to modesty and fairness, but also our interest in wealth and other signs of status and our inclination toward self-promotion. Crucially, it also involves seeing ourselves accurately – not thinking of ourselves more highly (or, for that matter, lowly) than is appropriate.
Worthington et al. (2017) understand humility as made up of three parts:
- Accurate self-perception
- Modest self-portrayal
- Other-oriented relational stance
They note that the recent growth in humility-focused studies coincides with the rise of positive psychology and frustration with the limitations of purely individualistic virtues. Alongside compassion, forgiveness, altruism, gratitude, and empathy, humility belongs to “a cluster of virtues that bind society together” (Worthington et al., 2017).
Worthington et al. (2017) further divide humility into general humility and more specific kinds of humility. These include intellectual humility, relating to an openness about our views, beliefs, and opinions; and cultural humility, an ability to acknowledge and learn from the achievements of other cultures (Hazlett, 2012; Davis et al., 2015).
Other sub-types of humility are political and spiritual humility.
While other-orientedness is a core interpersonal feature of humility, Tangney (2009) has identified six intrapersonal aspects of humility:
- A willingness to see ourselves truthfully
- An accurate perception of our place in the world
- An ability to acknowledge our mistakes and limitations
- Openness
- Low self-focus
- An appreciation of the value of all things
Hill and Laney (2016), finally, understand humility as involving a quiet ego (see also Kesebir, 2014).
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Choosing humility in a self-centered age – Quincy Mix
Humility as a Character Strength
We can also understand humility as a character strength. As such, it is an essential component of moral character that is manifested in modesty, being empathetic, acknowledging and respecting others at a deeper level, and accurately understanding as well as owning our limitations (Harvey & Pauwels, 2004).
As a character strength, humility can be viewed as the opposite of pride, arrogance, and an inflated sense of our importance and talents. It is based on a fundamentally caring and compassionate attitude toward others.
Finally, we may also think of humility as a specific mindset. After all, it is a crucial aspect of what Carol Dweck (2006) has described as the “growth mindset.”
In Dweck’s framework, humility entails not just admitting our shortcomings, but actively seeking to overcome them. It is about a general readiness to learn best practices from others and learn from our failures (see also Syed, 2015).
Humility is, therefore, intricately related to learning and teachability – a way of being that embraces constant self-correction and self-improvement.
Why Is Humility Important?
The more humble among us possess a large number of advantages (Robson, 2020).
A humble mindset has significant positive effects on our cognitive, interpersonal, and decision-making skills. Humility is directly related to our ability and willingness to learn. Humble people are better learners and problem solvers.
Humble students who are genuinely open to feedback often overtake their naturally more talented peers who think so highly of their own abilities that they reject all advice. Some studies have found that humility is more important as a predictive performance indicator than IQ (Owens, Johnson, & Mitchell, 2013; Krumrei-Manusco, Haggard, LaBouff, & Rowatt, 2019).
Humility in our leaders, moreover, fosters trust, engagement, creative strategic thinking, and generally boosts performance (Rego et al., 2017; Ou, Waldman, & Peterson, 2020; Cojuharenco & Karelaia, 2020). Humility is also related to a general increase in positive emotions. Moreover, humility fosters self-forgiveness (Onody et al., 2020).
Besides, there are indications that humility strengthens various social functions and bonds. As a consequence of experiencing less stress and fewer negative experiences with others, humility might be related not just to better mental health, but also better physical health (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).
Last but not least, a lack of cultural humility is associated with xenophobia, the fear and hatred of foreigners. Humility, by contrast, is associated with xenophilia, an attraction to foreign cultures.
Those of us who lack cultural humility are more prone to make assumptions about others, feel superior to them, and dramatically overvalue our knowledge and talents in comparison to others (Hook, Davis, Owen, Worthington, & Utsey, 2013; Barbarino & Stürmer, 2016).
5 Real-Life Examples
A famous trio of truly humble people are Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Mother Teresa. All of them heroically dedicated their energies and time to serving their ideals and tirelessly working to improve the living conditions for other people.
Yet they remained modest and unpretentious about their astounding achievements and never tied them to their own personalities. They humbly served not their egos, but instead a greater external cause.
We can see many examples of personalities who lack humility by turning to the world of fiction and television. For instance, you might remember the spoiled and over-indulged Veruca Salt from the famous tale of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?us_privacy=1—&client=ca-pub-6820706795814886&output=html&h=250&adk=373895788&adf=1028438189&w=300&lmt=1698668851&rafmt=12&channel=1750616937&format=300×250&url=https%3A%2F%2Fpositivepsychology.com%2Fhumility%2F&ea=0&wgl=1&uach=WyJXaW5kb3dzIiwiMTAuMC4wIiwieDg2IiwiIiwiMTE4LjAuNTk5My4xMTgiLFtdLDAsbnVsbCwiNjQiLFtbIkNocm9taXVtIiwiMTE4LjAuNTk5My4xMTgiXSxbIkdvb2dsZSBDaHJvbWUiLCIxMTguMC41OTkzLjExOCJdLFsiTm90PUE_QnJhbmQiLCI5OS4wLjAuMCJdXSwxXQ..&dt=1699036941893&bpp=1&bdt=291&idt=386&shv=r20231101&mjsv=m202310310101&ptt=9&saldr=aa&abxe=1&cookie=ID%3D9f88c7f002971e28-22e174c3bfe7007e%3AT%3D1699036942%3ART%3D1699036988%3AS%3DALNI_MY_5jGhKUQ7W8r-sXjoge9k8H5vqA&gpic=UID%3D00000a3e77907b8c%3AT%3D1699036942%3ART%3D1699036942%3AS%3DALNI_Mbr-refLHBRgaB3ohI3-6IBKwsz1w&prev_fmts=728×90&correlator=1643053120331&pv_ch=1750616937%2B&frm=20&pv=1&ga_vid=1308793723.1699036942&ga_sid=1699036942&ga_hid=274650036&ga_fc=1&u_tz=-240&u_his=3&u_h=1080&u_w=1920&u_ah=1040&u_aw=1920&u_cd=24&u_sd=1&dmc=8&adx=802&ady=12346&biw=1903&bih=963&scr_x=0&scr_y=8523&eid=44759876%2C44759927%2C44759837%2C31079190%2C31079193%2C42532335%2C44807048%2C44807334%2C44807454%2C31078301%2C44807405%2C44806140&oid=2&psts=AOrYGsn48kAl4j2P97xHYnMQ6RLCkIq4mQPqtwyIQv5CX9Bk7kG_drTS9_6fl5TSbaG91u8mE3c1lw8OcAZTvQ7sx7jdKQ&pvsid=2680738279109695&tmod=1623499166&uas=1&nvt=1&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&fc=896&brdim=0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C1920%2C0%2C1920%2C1040%2C1920%2C963&vis=1&rsz=%7Co%7CeEbr%7C&abl=NS&pfx=0&fu=256&bc=31&psd=W251bGwsbnVsbCxudWxsLDNd&ifi=2&uci=a!2&btvi=2&fsb=1&dtd=53546
The child of affluent parents, Salt stands in stark contrast to the story’s protagonist, believing she is without fault and entitled to anything she wants. This lack of humility comes at a price when she is whisked away down a garbage chute that judges her to be a “bad egg.”
Another example is Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones. The character of Joffrey is known for his narcissistic entitlement, vastly inflated sense of his talents, and desire to dominate–all traits negatively correlated with humility (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).
Joffrey shows little sympathy or concern for other characters throughout the story, including his own wife, Sansa, whom he treats with severe cruelty. It is little wonder audiences around the world celebrated when he was poisoned and died in Season 4, putting an end to his reign of tyranny.
How to Practice Humility
We need to begin by developing an accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses.
Then we must own our imperfections. When we do, we no longer have to waste our energy hiding them from others, but can instead seek to learn to live with them productively or even to overcome them.
Paradoxically, a stubbornly low opinion of ourselves is also in contradiction to a humble view of ourselves. Extremely low self-esteem, just as a narcissistic overvaluation of our talents, lacks accuracy. It is just an inverted form of self-obsession, another way of fixating on ourselves rather than directing our attention toward others.
Although we are the subject in our world, we must remember that we are an object in everybody else’s. We are not the center of the universe. This includes adjusting our perspective. Our woes and desires become ever more insignificant the more we step back from them and consider the bigger picture. Our time on this planet is limited. Our works and achievements are transient.
We are all parts of structures that are larger than ourselves – couples, families, communities, nations, the organizations for which we work, the human species. We should never forget the many teams of which we are a part – small and large. Sometimes, it is apt to privilege the needs of our teams over our individual desires.
We must stay curious and open to learning. We can learn from anyone and everything at all times. We can learn from friends and family, our children, and people who master specific skills.
We have much to learn from other cultures and our ancestors. We can learn precious lessons from animals and even plants.
Humor is a powerful tool. We can all benefit from laughing more about ourselves and our imperfections.
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