This is a question that I have made a lot of changes in my overall behavior because I should have never been scammed out of $24,550 dollars in Western Union Funds and money by 20 women whom I have been in contact with during a 35 year period.  It has taken me 14 years to forgive my ex wife.   I have consulted with Jesus Christ.  I also worked on my behavior by enrolling in an Anger Management class for 4 years.  I had to attend Church on a regular basis and I participated in Self Help Groups for a total of 33 years now.  Currently,  I want to inform all of you that God is doing for me more than I am doing for myself.   I am taking full responsibility for my actions and emotions.  My AA Sponsors helped me to recover and cope with my mental illness.  These women have taken advantage of me because of my Schizoid Affective Disorder and Schizophrenia.  God Loves You and So Do I.  God Bless All of You.

What is making me nervous is a number of things.  First, I want to say is that my physical health has declined during the past 15 years.   This is because I am suffering from Diabetes.  I didn’t know that I had Diabetes in the first place.   Perhaps it was my weight that had increased throughout the years.   I know that my physical body is perishing because of my age.  I am only 58-year-old.  I am losing my hormone levels have decreased considerably since 2015.  During the past 10 years; I have been taking too much medication as well.   I will admit that I was taking Zyprexa for a considerable amount of time.   This is the reason why I am suffering from Glaucoma and Cataracts as well as memory problems

Next, I want to inform all of you that I am suffering from Schizoid Affective Disorder and Schizophrenia.  I have been suffering from the disease since Tuesday July 15 1997.  Therefore what is making me nervous is my physical and mental health issues have worsen since 1997.  I know that I have been eating vegetables and fruit a lot lately.   My life at this point of time is not getting better. Second,  I have been suffering from stomach ulcers since Wednesday November 26th 1996.  I will admit that I have been under a lot of stress for an extended period of time.  Positively I have been clean and sober for 33 years now. Another thing that is making me nervous is our young people have been committing violent crimes since 1980.  I am praying for everyone worldwide right now.   Lord Jesus I thank you for waking me up this morning.  I thank you for allowing me to spend time with my family members.  I thank you Lord Jesus for helping me to grow spiritually since 2015.  Thank you Lord Jesus for all that you have done for me throughout my life.   Lord Jesus I love you and I will always need you because I cannot do this by myself.  I will always need you before you need me.  I am still growing as a Christian Man.   Thank you for accepting me and loving me for the person that I am.  In Jesus Name I pray Amen.

How do I unwind after a demanding day?  The first thing I do is thank God for allowing me to wake up today.  I also thank God for being with me during the day.  I eat dinner around 6:00pm.   I read the Bible and work on the 12 Steps of AA.  I watch the local news and go directly to bed before 1:00am.   I look over my essays throughout the day.   I unwind usually by taking a bath and take my medication for seizures before I go to bed.   Lord Jesus, I Love You very much.   I Thank You for allowing me to relax and meditate three times per day.   Lord Jesus I am willing to serve you in any capacity.   Lord Jesus please give me wisdom and Knowledge that only comes directly from You.  Please monitor my progress 🙏.  Writing also helps me to relax and free my mind from stress.  Lord Jesus please pray for me because my body is physically and mentally sick right now.   Lord Jesus enable me to maintain my memory 🙏.  Lord Jesus thank you for everything that you have done for me.  Please forgive me of all of my sins and transgressions from the past and present.  Lord Jesus; I know that I am not able to pay my student loans anymore.   I do not have a job working anywhere.  My job at the present is to write about my overall behavior and my relationship with You.  Life is good for me because I am very grateful to be clean and sober right now.  Lord Jesus; I thank you for leading me in my right frame of mind.   I love all of Your Creation.  I am supposed to respect others and love everyone including myself.   Lord Jesus I am ready to share Your Good News with everyone.  Please lead me in the right direction and help me to become successful as a Man of God.

How do I use social media?  I use social media on a daily basis.   I have been posting my blogs and essays on quite a few websites.   I have been communicating God’s Word and messages to all of my family members and friends.  God is the focus of my life right now.   There are times when I might be online too much.   I will admit that I used a computer for over 18 hours per day.   Frankly, I am not online as much as I used to.  Lord Jesus, please teach me how to discipline myself by listening to Your Voice each day.  I am willing and able to actively participate in reading Your Word.  I am willing to listen and accept constructive criticism and allow You Lord Jesus that I am very compliant.  Lord Jesus, please teach me how to be honest and truthful with everyone.  Lord Jesus thank you for reading my essays and blogs on a daily basis.   Lord Jesus, I Love You very much.   I have a lot of respect for Your Creation.  I respect you Lord Jesus.   I know that Your Spirit bears with my spirit and I am a living vessel for you.  I am sorry for all of my sins and actions.   Please forgive me for hurting anyone who I am in contact with for 58 years.     I used to be a harlot lover in the past.   Thank you Lord Jesus for all of the things that you have done for me.   I am truly grateful for being clean and sober for 33 years now.  Lord Jesus please allow me to acquire wisdom, knowledge, and understanding towards Your Creation.  

The first thing that I think about is my personal relationship with God.   I am saying this because I am very concerned about my overall behavior at the age that I am.  I have made a whole lot of mistakes in my life right now.   I have been clean and sober for 33 years now.  My AA Birthday is coming up in two weeks from now.   The first thing that comes directly to my mind is one question.  Lord Jesus, am I worthy to be a member of your Kingdom?  Lord Jesus, please teach me how to behave like a real Christian Man.   I know that I have a lot of sin and iniquity that is hidden inside of my heart.   Lord Jesus, I am very sorry for being a backbiter and a liar in front of your eyes.  The second thing that I am thinking about is my family members and friends.   I do not want to be a blasphemous person.  My life at this time consists of my physical and mental sluggishness that is going on right now with me.  Mankind itself has mixed emotions and comments about me personally.   On Thursday May 2, 2024: If the Lord’s Will, I will be clean and sober for 34 years.   My stomach has been messed up for almost 30 years now.  Lord Jesus: I am asking you one thing.  Lord Jesus, please teach me how to appreciate your Creation.  Lord Jesus, I can only change my behavior with your help.  Lord Jesus you are in charge of my life and actions right now.  Lord Jesus, please give me wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that I need to officially become a child of God.   Please monitor all of my steps physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for me because I am living inside of an environment that is not conducive towards my personal needs.  Lord Jesus, please allow me to attend church on a regular basis.  Please allow me to remain clean and sober for years to come.   Thank you Lord Jesus for reading my essay this morning.  Thank you for making me aware of my surroundings.  Finally; I really thank you for your Holy Spirit that bears with my spirit.  Lord Jesus, please pray for all of the people who are currently living inside of Wentworth HI Rise Apartments located in Dayton, Ohio.  Amen  🙏 🙏 🙏

I had a conversation after my hernia operation on Friday May 4th 1990.  I was inside of the hospital and I met someone who I had not seen in 20 years.   The nurse knew all of my family members.   She stated that she was the nurse during the time that I was born.   She indicated that she knew the doctor  who was responsible for my birth on Thursday June 24, 1965.  The nurse was very nice to me.  I didn’t know that I had an operation on my stomach.   I grew up with a lot of people in the Dayton, Ohio Area.   I have been blessed all of my life.   I was blessed to be raised by 2 grandmothers and grandfathers. I did not know that I was baptized at the age of six months.  I remember a lot of people.  I am blessed as a person.  God is still working with me.

A decision that I have made in the past that helped me to learn or grow was to stay in Charlotte NC to obtain employment at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte where I worked inside of the J Murray Atkins Library from March 5, 2002 which was on a Monday to Wednesday April 9, 2009.  I worked there for 8 years on a part time basis.

Next, I have worked at the Winterfield Elementary School for less than 6 months.   I lost my job because I gave a student a cough drop for a sore throat.   The School’s location was on Eastway Drive which was near where I lived at during the time on Merry Oaks Road. 

Finally, I stayed at Merry Oaks Road for 3 years.  At the same time, I moved to Slater Road which was off of Beatties Ford Road in Charlotte NC.   I stayed on Slater Road for 5 years.  The jobs that I was working was Bank of America Stadium for 18 months.   I also worked at Circle K Store on Plaza Road and East Harris Boulevard.  I worked at the Store for 2 years.   I lost my job at UNCC for looking at porn at the job.  I went home to the Dayton, Ohio Area for 3 months.   I was hospitalized at Broughton State Psychiatric Hospital for 5 weeks.   Afterwards, I got locked up again for non compliance.   I went home to Dayton, Ohio on Wed January 5, 2010.  I arrived home at 10:00am the next day.  I have been here ever since.  I have been to Charlotte for 2 weeks in 2022.  I have been living at Wentworth HI Rise Apartments for 13 years now.   I stayed in the Dayton Area for 14 years now.   Lord Jesus, thank you for being by my side and I love you very much.   I have been a born again Christian Man for 9 years now.   I have been attending Fort McKinley United Methodist Church in Dayton, Ohio for 10 years now.   Lord Jesus, I Love You very much. Please watch over me for life now.

The only place that I never want to visit is the earth’s Core.  This is the hottest area on Planet Earth.   I do not want to go to Jail or Prison.   If The Lord’s Will, I will avoid getting into trouble with the law.  I do not want to get locked up inside of a State Psychiatric Hospital anymore.  The Bible talks about a place that people who do not do God’s Will: They will be going to this place of torment.   I am doing my best to stay out of trouble by reading the Bible, Praying to Jesus Christ who is my personal Savior.  I really need a lot of prayer because I suffer from Schizophrenia and Schizoid Affective Disorder.  I am a person who is very humble and intelligent.  Lord Jesus,  please heal me of all of my physical and mental problems right now.  My spine is hurting very bad.  This is because I suffer from Degenerative Bone Disease and Type 2 Diabetes.   I also suffer from Glaucoma and Cataracts as well.

One of the most positive things that a family member has done for me is give me a place to live inside of their house.  I remember on June 15, 1996 my sister let me stay at her house for six months.   My babysitter did the same thing as of January 1st 1997.  I had to pay rent and get a job.  My eldest sister allowed me to stay at her house for one year.   My mother let me stay in her home for six months in 2010.  My mother paid my rent at a hotel for six months in 2010 as well.   I had to pay my family members rent and utilities.  My nephew invited me to Columbus, Ohio to attend his College Graduation in 2012.  Therefore my family members did a lot for me.   I raised my nieces and nephews for 8 years.   God has blessed me to live with my Landlords house for 4 years in Toledo, Ohio.  I also lived inside of my friends house for 8 years in Charlotte NC.  God is still watching me and blessing me through this day.  I talk to Jesus Christ every day of the week.  I thank Him for blessing me with a place to live for 13 years now.   I have been clean and sober for 33 years now.  Go is still in charge of my life right now because I want Him to pay all of my bills and rent.

My favorite restaurant is Skyline Chili Restaurant and the House of Bread in Dayton, Ohio.  I also like eating dinner at Fort McKinley United Methodist Church located in Dayton Ohio.  Thank you and God Bless You.