Leviticus 17:16 says But if he does not wash his clothes or wash himself, then he shall bear his iniquity. This is exactly what I have been going through for the past 29 years now. I have neglected myself for a long time now. This means I have only taken care of myself only once a week. I have allowed Satan to have the victory over me.
Next, I have taken myself through a major depression. This means I have forsaken myself and no one else. When my oldest grandmother passed away, I have took her death harderthan anyone else. I did not take A bath only one time weekly.
Further, I only brushed my teeth on a weekly basis. Therefore, I deprived myself out of a lot of things. I have to stop allowing Satan to reign over me. Although I don’t drink alcohol and smoke marijuana anymore, but I still have a dope fiend mentality. I have not been taking care of my apartment and ADLs.
Moreover, I didn’t do anything but hurt myself by bearing all of the guilt from my past. My family members are not like me. I’m still living a fiend mentality and lifestyle. Today is the first time I’ve taken a bath in over a week. I am very sorry for hurting myself and others who are in my life.
In Addition, I am still suffering from clinical depression right now. My treatment for Schizoid Affective Disorder and Schizophrenia is not working for me. If this doesn’t improve, I will have to allow the Police to check me in to the hospital for personal reasons. I am very sorry for letting people think that I am getting better but I am getting worse by the day.
Also, I am too depressed to do anything for myself right now. The only thing I have been doing is staying clean and sober. I have a positive attitude about life right now. My family members are angry with me because I have been talking to computer hackers and scammers.
Finally, I have to start reading God’s Word out loud and pray without ceasing. I need to get involved in church activities and make weekly appointments with my Pastor all of the time and my therapist and psychiatrist all of the time. Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts because I am suffering from Diabetes Full Blown Type 2 right now. I am crying out loud for real help. I have been bearing my guilt and transgressions for years now. I’m very sick physically, mentally, psychologically, and spiritually sick. I have to have someone to come over and tell me what to do inside of my apartment building right now.
In Conclusion, I have to have someone to please talk to me because I am actually acting like a child that needs God’s Help. All of this is my fault alone.
This memo is an invitation for you to send sharing to GSO —Your experience, strength, and hope—using A.A. principles in daily life.
We thank you for supporting LIM, and making it come alive with the A.A. message!
To be included in the January/February 2024 issue, we would like shares by regular mail or email by Monday, November 20th. If you would like to send an email with your experience, strength, and hope, you can send it to LIM@aa.org. Because of spacing and timing in putting together each LIM, we can’t guarantee that any particular share will be included. If your share does not reach us before the deadline, we will be happy to consider it for the next issue.
Thank you once again for your continuing love and service to carrying our A.A. message of hope.
In fellowship,
Kelley Coyne (last name not for publication on public media platforms) LIM Coordinator LIM@aa.org
A.A. World Services, Inc. 475 Riverside Drive New York, NY 10115
DISCLAIMER: This email message and any attachments are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s). Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, copying or distribution, without the express permission of the originator, is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message and any attachments.
How are all of you doing today or tonight? Anyway, I would like to wish all of you a Happy 2024. I know that I said last year that I need a new environment. I cannot do anything without Jesus Christ and money. One thing I can do is keep it real and maintain a positive attitude for the New Year.
Next, I need to spend more time at church and AA Meetings. I live in Dayton, Ohio and this City might be small, but it is Rich in Spirit. I will admit that I need a good decent job. I have 33 years clean and sober. I can help others who are in addiction by introducing everyone to this Fellowship.
Further, I am suffering from Diabetes Full Blown Type 2. I am in need of prayers and thoughts for this new year. My family members have been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol on a daily basis. Every time I try to talk to each one of them about the problem, it is getting worse. It only reminds me of my old self and I am dealing with second hand smoke from marijuana and cigarettes that are inside of my apartment building right now. These people need AA Meetings and NA meeting right now.
Finally, I have to stay busy and active in my community. I have to help myself first and foremost. I need to listen to Jesus Christ more in my life right now. My family members and environment are a major problem. I am sharing life on life terms stuff right now. I am keeping it real with all of you. My family members and the people who live inside of my apartment building do not care about themselves. Thank you for allowing me to share. God Bless You All!!
Sincerely,
Anthony Joseph Hopkins and I am still a grateful recovering alcoholic from Dayton Ohio. I am living in the solution rather than the problem.
Hide quoted text
On Fri, Nov 3, 2023, 9:12 AM LIM <LIM@aa.org> wrote:
This memo is an invitation for you to send sharing to GSO —Your experience, strength, and hope—using A.A. principles in daily life.
We thank you for supporting LIM, and making it come alive with the A.A. message!
To be included in the January/February 2024 issue, we would like shares by regular mail or email by Monday, November 20th. If you would like to send an email with your experience, strength, and hope, you can send it to LIM@aa.org. Because of spacing and timing in putting together each LIM, we can’t guarantee that any particular share will be included. If your share does not reach us before the deadline, we will be happy to consider it for the next issue.
Thank you once again for your continuing love and service to carrying our A.A. message of hope.
In fellowship,
Kelley Coyne (last name not for publication on public media platforms) LIM Coordinator LIM@aa.org
A.A. World Services, Inc. 475 Riverside Drive New York, NY 10115
DISCLAIMER: This email message and any attachments are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s). Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, copying or distribution, without the express permission of the originator, is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message and any attachments.
You Passed! You have an amazing memory and vocabulary!
Amazing! You fit into 3% of the population that can get a perfect score on this test! (And it’s not easy). You have a sharp memory and a brilliant talent for words. You are a keen academic and love reading and learning new things. You are excellent with people because you remember every person you meet and the stories that come along with them. You’re intelligent, but also creative. With such a sponge for a brain and such an articulate mind, you will go far!
You aced it!! You are highly perceptive, and you have unique observation skills.
You aced it!! You are highly perceptive, and you have unique observation skills. People who scored as high as you did are drawn to fields where creativity and inventiveness are required. You are original, and you appreciate beauty, affection, and mindfulness. Your perceptiveness makes you look for hidden patterns and seek meanings in everyday life. You are most likely an introvert. Share the news with the world.
Psalm 139:16 says: You Saw my substance being yet informed. In Your Book they all were written, the days fashioned for me when as yet there were none of them. Lord God, You knew me before I was formed. You knew me as well as how long that I was going to live because it is recorded inside of Your Book of Life.
Jeremiah’s 10:23 says: O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man, who walks to direct his own steps. A man’s actions and steps are ordered by God. A man cannot plan his own way. It is up to God to help man out all of the time. A man has to listen and learn from God.
But humility has nothing to do with meekness or weakness. And neither does it mean being self-effacing or submissive. Humility is an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously.
In the past decade in particular, psychologists have rediscovered the importance of humility. They have established fascinating links between humility and our ability to learn and be effective leaders, and our readiness to engage in prosocial behavior.
Adopting a more humble mindset increases our overall psychological wellbeing and ensures our social functioning. Last but not least, humility is a perfect antidote to the self-fixated spirit of our age.
Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Strengths Exercises for free. These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients realize your unique potential and create a life that feels energized and authentic.
Humility is a core value in many ancient ethical and theological frameworks. The Confucian form of humility, for example, is profoundly other oriented in spirit, consistently valuing the social good over the satisfaction of our individual aspirations. In this ancient Chinese form, humility can significantly enhance social cohesion and our sense of belonging.
The Greek philosopher Socrates held that wisdom is, above all, knowing what we don’t know. He taught an intellectual form of humility that freely acknowledges the gaps in our knowledge and that humbly seeks to address our blind spots.
Aristotle understood humility as a moral virtue, sandwiched between the vices of arrogance and moral weakness. Like Socrates, he believed that humility must include accurate self-knowledge and a generous acknowledgment of the qualities of others that avoids distortion and extremes.
Christian humility is linked to self-abnegation, shame, and sin and may therefore not be to everyone’s taste. However, the ancient theologians can still help us to avoid arrogance and pretentiousness. They remind us that we are members of a species that is far from perfect and urge us to be mindful of the limited role we each have to play in the fate of humanity as a whole.
Through the centuries, the importance of humility as a moral character virtue has faded. However, psychological studies of humility have surged in the last two decades (Worthington, Davis, & Hook, 2017). This renewed interest in humility is, in no small part, a counter-reaction to what the authors of The Narcissism Epidemic, Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell (2009), have described as our “age of entitlement.”
Today, self-realization and enhancing our self-worth are our highest aspirations. Precisely because it provides an antidote to many worrying tendencies of our age, such as arrogance, greed, and self-centeredness (all of which also have devastating consequences for our democracies and our planet), humility is experiencing a much-needed revival.
What Is Humility in Psychology?
We can understand humility not just as a virtue but also as a psychological trait. At a basic level, humility relates to the degree to which we value and promote our interests above others.
Capturing our other-orientation, it is closely related to modesty and fairness, but also our interest in wealth and other signs of status and our inclination toward self-promotion. Crucially, it also involves seeing ourselves accurately – not thinking of ourselves more highly (or, for that matter, lowly) than is appropriate.
Worthington et al. (2017) understand humility as made up of three parts:
Accurate self-perception
Modest self-portrayal
Other-oriented relational stance
They note that the recent growth in humility-focused studies coincides with the rise of positive psychology and frustration with the limitations of purely individualistic virtues. Alongside compassion, forgiveness, altruism, gratitude, and empathy, humility belongs to “a cluster of virtues that bind society together” (Worthington et al., 2017).
Worthington et al. (2017) further divide humility into general humility and more specific kinds of humility. These include intellectual humility, relating to an openness about our views, beliefs, and opinions; and cultural humility, an ability to acknowledge and learn from the achievements of other cultures (Hazlett, 2012; Davis et al., 2015).
Other sub-types of humility are political and spiritual humility.
While other-orientedness is a core interpersonal feature of humility, Tangney (2009) has identified six intrapersonal aspects of humility:
A willingness to see ourselves truthfully
An accurate perception of our place in the world
An ability to acknowledge our mistakes and limitations
Openness
Low self-focus
An appreciation of the value of all things
Hill and Laney (2016), finally, understand humility as involving a quiet ego (see also Kesebir, 2014).
VIDEO
Choosing humility in a self-centered age – Quincy Mix
Humility as a Character Strength
We can also understand humility as a character strength. As such, it is an essential component of moral character that is manifested in modesty, being empathetic, acknowledging and respecting others at a deeper level, and accurately understanding as well as owning our limitations (Harvey & Pauwels, 2004).
As a character strength, humility can be viewed as the opposite of pride, arrogance, and an inflated sense of our importance and talents. It is based on a fundamentally caring and compassionate attitude toward others.
Finally, we may also think of humility as a specific mindset. After all, it is a crucial aspect of what Carol Dweck (2006) has described as the “growth mindset.”
In Dweck’s framework, humility entails not just admitting our shortcomings, but actively seeking to overcome them. It is about a general readiness to learn best practices from others and learn from our failures (see also Syed, 2015).
Humility is, therefore, intricately related to learning and teachability – a way of being that embraces constant self-correction and self-improvement.
Why Is Humility Important?
The more humble among us possess a large number of advantages (Robson, 2020).
A humble mindset has significant positive effects on our cognitive, interpersonal, and decision-making skills. Humility is directly related to our ability and willingness to learn. Humble people are better learners and problem solvers.
Humble students who are genuinely open to feedback often overtake their naturally more talented peers who think so highly of their own abilities that they reject all advice. Some studies have found that humility is more important as a predictive performance indicator than IQ (Owens, Johnson, & Mitchell, 2013; Krumrei-Manusco, Haggard, LaBouff, & Rowatt, 2019).
Humility in our leaders, moreover, fosters trust, engagement, creative strategic thinking, and generally boosts performance (Rego et al., 2017; Ou, Waldman, & Peterson, 2020; Cojuharenco & Karelaia, 2020). Humility is also related to a general increase in positive emotions. Moreover, humility fosters self-forgiveness (Onody et al., 2020).
Besides, there are indications that humility strengthens various social functions and bonds. As a consequence of experiencing less stress and fewer negative experiences with others, humility might be related not just to better mental health, but also better physical health (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).
Last but not least, a lack of cultural humility is associated with xenophobia, the fear and hatred of foreigners. Humility, by contrast, is associated with xenophilia, an attraction to foreign cultures.
Those of us who lack cultural humility are more prone to make assumptions about others, feel superior to them, and dramatically overvalue our knowledge and talents in comparison to others (Hook, Davis, Owen, Worthington, & Utsey, 2013; Barbarino & Stürmer, 2016).
5 Real-Life Examples
A famous trio of truly humble people are Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Mother Teresa. All of them heroically dedicated their energies and time to serving their ideals and tirelessly working to improve the living conditions for other people.
Yet they remained modest and unpretentious about their astounding achievements and never tied them to their own personalities. They humbly served not their egos, but instead a greater external cause.
The child of affluent parents, Salt stands in stark contrast to the story’s protagonist, believing she is without fault and entitled to anything she wants. This lack of humility comes at a price when she is whisked away down a garbage chute that judges her to be a “bad egg.”
Another example is Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones. The character of Joffrey is known for his narcissistic entitlement, vastly inflated sense of his talents, and desire to dominate–all traits negatively correlated with humility (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).
Joffrey shows little sympathy or concern for other characters throughout the story, including his own wife, Sansa, whom he treats with severe cruelty. It is little wonder audiences around the world celebrated when he was poisoned and died in Season 4, putting an end to his reign of tyranny.
Then we must own our imperfections. When we do, we no longer have to waste our energy hiding them from others, but can instead seek to learn to live with them productively or even to overcome them.
Paradoxically, a stubbornly low opinion of ourselves is also in contradiction to a humble view of ourselves. Extremely low self-esteem, just as a narcissistic overvaluation of our talents, lacks accuracy. It is just an inverted form of self-obsession, another way of fixating on ourselves rather than directing our attention toward others.
Although we are the subject in our world, we must remember that we are an object in everybody else’s. We are not the center of the universe. This includes adjusting our perspective. Our woes and desires become ever more insignificant the more we step back from them and consider the bigger picture. Our time on this planet is limited. Our works and achievements are transient.
We are all parts of structures that are larger than ourselves – couples, families, communities, nations, the organizations for which we work, the human species. We should never forget the many teams of which we are a part – small and large. Sometimes, it is apt to privilege the needs of our teams over our individual desires.
We must stay curious and open to learning. We can learn from anyone and everything at all times. We can learn from friends and family, our children, and people who master specific skills.
We have much to learn from other cultures and our ancestors. We can learn precious lessons from animals and even plants.
Humor is a powerful tool. We can all benefit from laughing more about ourselves and our imperfections.
Good Evening Everyone and God Bless You All!! My name is Anthony Joseph Hopkins and I currently live in Dayton, Ohio; The Birthplace of Aviation. I want to inform all of you that we should wait on the right person for us. I know that I used to commit fornication each day for the past 24 years. From June 22, 1986 until Friday July 2, 2010,
– 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
I was involved in relationships that I did not have a relationship but twice. I was married for a total of 9 months and 14 days. I really was not ready to get married. I have made a huge mistake because I was only 23 years old and my wife was 35 years old.
She dictated the entire relationship. I was working three jobs from June 24, 1988 until September 1, 1990. I was chasing female prostitutes during that time because my wife was a prostitute. I did not know it until I contracted a STD from her on Thursday October 21, 1989.
I went to get treated for my problem and she didn’t. She denied it all the way until I left the State of Ohio back in 1990. I had to completely stay away from her because she did not care about me in the first place. I want to inform all of you that my ex wife was a very lewd woman. I am still praying for her and we are not together.
Further, I want to inform all of you that there was one young lady that I was in love with. I was responsible for messing up our relationship. I crashed her computer from looking porn. It caused a worm virus and it eventually crashed. I was constantly making mistakes all of the time.
It is not very easy dealing with women who always nag and cuss you out for every little thing that I had done. I made a lot of mistakes. I even ran away for a total of three months just to redeem myself.
I want to inform all of you that my Grandmother saved my relationship by telling me to go back to her. I even went to jail twice for theft by deception. I have made a lot of mistakes all of the time. My mother stated that I was not ready for a marriage. I had to relocated to Dayton, Ohio just to take care of my mother because she had cancer. My Grandmother had Alzheimer’s during that time as well.
To be honest with all of you, there are women telling my family members that I have children by them. I was never confronted with this type of evidence. If I had children by these women, I would have stayed in the Toledo, Ohio Area and took care of my kids. Right Now, I am living all by myself and I suffer from Schizoid Affective Disorder. It is not very easy dealing with a mental illness that mimics Schizophrenia a whole lot. I would prefer to live by myself. I prefer to remain single instead of dealing with problems that I am not able to resolve.
Finally, I want to say that my life has been filled with ups and downs for the past 15 years. This is also during the time, I got scammed out of $16,977 Dollars in Western Union Funds from 2008 to 2010.
I was dealing with computer hackers and scammers. I am all by myself getting closer to God. Please keep me in your prayers because there are a lot of things that I have to do before I decide to move out of the State of Ohio or live inside of a city in Ohio that I have never lived before. God Bless All of You!!
The arrival of the Lord Jesus is near and the time has come for us all to be ready for His kingdom. But today many Christians are scared to hear of the arrival of God because many Christians are in sin. We all try every day that we will not sin today, but after deciding again and again we commit sin. My view is that most of us fall into sin because of adultery, let us see what the word says about adultery.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 NIV
The holy word of God has repeatedly been advised to avoid adultery or to avoid it. The question arises as to why God asked us to abstain from fornication. According to 1 Corinthians verses 18 to 19, our body is the temple of God. Here the sentence temple is used, which is a very holy place where God resides. In Genesis 1:26 it is written that God created man in His own form and likeness. Two sentences are used here, form and likeness. That is, God made us like Him.
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Genesis 1:26 NIV
Leviticus 11:44 “… ye shall be holy; for I am holy.
Because God is holy, it is important that we also be holy. When we commit adultery, our body becomes impure and moves away from God.
If you, Lord , kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. Psalms 130:3-4 NIV
But the word says that God is forgiving, He is able to forgive all your sins, if today you believe and repent in front of Him, then today you will be saved.
I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15:7 NIV
There is great joy in heaven when you repent according to the word, my dear Christians, God is waiting for you today, because no man is righteous we have all sinned. But all of us have the opportunity to repent.
Real talk: Humans mess up, and regardless of whatever spiritual faith or religious tradition you adhere to (or don’t), some behaviors are almost universally understood as more intense in their severity. You may have heard of the “seven deadly sins” as part of the Christian tradition — the cardinal sins are considered more serious infractions than other wrongdoings. According to tradition, lust, gluttony, pride, sloth, greed, wrath, and envy are the main “sins.”
I thought it might be interesting to apply them to intimate partnerships. When you think about it, these things can be severely detrimental to the overall success of our partnerships, and if we’re not careful, they can ruin the otherwise happy, healthy life we’ve built with someone special. Let’s consider each one, look at some examples of how they manifest, and talk about ways we can avoid succumbing to them.
Lust
Sexual desire is healthy within a relationship and arguably one of the defining connectors in intimate partnerships. With the exception of asexuality or other health-related limitations, most people revel in the lust they feel for their partners. However, lust can be misguided and even weaponized. If you’re in a monogamous relationship, your sexual desire for your partner should be your primary focus; don’t succumb to the temptation of acting on any desires you may have for others. If there’s something lacking in your sex life, it’s your responsibility to communicate that to your partner and make every effort to improve it. If you do end up cheating, whether because you’re unfulfilled at home or you simply can’t say no, own up to it, and don’t blame your partner for your infidelity. Maybe try ethical nonmonogamy in your next relationship if you need more sexual variety.
Gluttony
Though often used in the context of dietary matters, gluttony also speaks to being habitually excessive in your behaviors. One way this shows up in relationships is in what we now consider to be “toxic” behaviors, like being controlling, possessive, and demanding. Wanting to monitor your partner’s behaviors online, over-the-top reactions to them receiving compliments from others, and making demands on their time are all behaviors to avoid. It also looks like being fiscally irresponsible just to put up a good front and convince people your relationship is better than it seems. Expensive trips, lavish gifts, and overspending isn’t a good look for people living paycheck to paycheck, so who are you trying to impress? Don’t let “doing it for the ’Gram” leave you broke, busted, and miserable with each other.
Pride
Pride is tricky, because in some ways, having pride in oneself is a good motivator and confidence boost. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself and your partner, your accomplishments, and the people you’ve become. The problem is when you become so proud that you’re unable to be vulnerable with your partner or open up to them when you’re struggling and need support. I admit that this is my greatest “sin” and why I wrestle with intimacy even at my big age. If you’re too proud to open yourself up to the person you’ve committed to spending a significant amount of time with, maybe it’s time to admit that you’re better off alone.
Sloth
Sloth or laziness is the silent relationship killer. When you get comfortably situated in your relationship, it’s easy to slack off and become lazy with the effort you initially put forth to attract them and connect with them. Relationships take work! You have to work on sustaining a loving, healthy relationship every single day. You don’t have to be grandiose in your gestures; the little things really do matter. The minute you become settled into doing less and letting the relationship drag on is the minute you’ve delivered its death sentence. Show up. Show effort. Show your lover you still care enough to devote the loving energy they deserve from you.
Sloth or laziness is the silent relationship killer.
Greed
Greed has no place in any relationship. The best relationships are guided by a give-and-take approach where each partner contributes as much as receive. Reciprocity is so important to maintaining healthy relationships that when greed shows up, it becomes one of the quickest ways to extinguish the fire between you. Greed and selfishness often go hand-in-hand, so beware of people who make everything about them while offering nothing in return. Your partner(s) should pour into you as much as you pour into them. As a good friend of mine always says, “Be a fountain, not a drain.”
Wrath
The moment you begin plotting revenge on your lover is the moment you have lost your relationship forever. Yes, people hurt each other in relationships, and if the love is strong, they try to work through their problems. Seeking to hurt your partner because they hurt you first is as toxic a behavior as one can imagine. There is no “get back” when you’re working on building a healthy, sustainable relationship, so let that go. If she cheated on you, you’re not going to repair the relationship by cheating on her with her best friend. And if you even consider it, you’ve got more problems than you know.
Envy
Probably the most relatable issue in the social media era is envy. With every post tagged #RelationshipGoals and every couple showing only their highlight reel, it is easy to fall into a negative space where jealousy and envy take over. You want to go to Bali with bae, but y’all can barely afford Burger King on Thursday night. You wish your body looked more like the dudes she is liking on Instagram. You want to wear matching Old Navy pajamas with your children and post pictures on Facebook Christmas morning, but he doesn’t want children for another five years. When you spend more time being envious and coveting what others have in their relationships, you lose sight of what you already have right in front of you. Remember why you chose your person, and focus on what about them brings you the greatest joy instead of wishing they were more like the couple of social media who’s secretly living apart and really only speak for the sponsored pet-food ambassador pictures with them and the dogs.
For relationships to be successful, you have to do the work to maintain them. A successful relationship is loving, supportive, fulfilling, enjoyable, and healthy. All relationships have their ups and downs, of course, but one key to relationship success is open communication about how each partner can have their needs met and give of themselves to meet the needs of their lover. When you indulge in these “sins,” you set yourself up for failure and can do serious harm to someone you love.
I’m not legally married, am I in a sinful relationship?
May 29, 2016
Before coming to Christ, my partner and I made a commitment to each other and started a family. However, we are not legally married. Now that I am a believer, I’m unsure what to do. If I move out, it seems like it’s a divorce and I separate my children from their father. But if I stay together with him, am I in a sinful relationship?
For all intents and purposes, you are married already. While you may not have a legal marriage license as yet, a license from the government is merely a formality at this point. Both of you have obviously made a commitment to one another, brought children into the world and have every intention of continuing together in this relationship. Your commitment to one another is confirmed by the fact you would view any separation as equivalent to a divorce.
Therefore, your situation is similar to the one Paul described in 1Cor 7:
1Cor. 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 1Cor. 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. 1Cor. 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 1Cor. 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 1Cor. 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
In this passage, Paul was addressing the question of whether a woman who comes to faith while married to an unbeliever should leave her unbelieving husband. Paul says specifically that as long as the unbelieving husband agrees to remain in the relationship, the woman is required to stay in the marriage. There is potential for her to witness in the family and bring her husband and children to faith, which is reason enough to remain in the marriage. In the meantime, a Christian wife and mother will serve to sanctify the family (i.e., provide a godly influence).
Therefore, we believe you should remain married, and moreover, we strongly recommend you formalize your relationship by pursuing a legal marriage as a means of protecting your Christian witness within society. Though we believe the Lord views you as a married couple already, nevertheless many church congregations might consider a couple living together absent a legal marriage to be living in sin. Therefore if possible, we recommend you gently persuade your husband to obtain a marriage license. Regardless of his answer, remain with him and serve the Lord where you are.
You may find our 1Corinthians study helpful, especially the lessons on chapter 7.
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