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What is forgiveness?

The definition of forgive means to excuse for a fault or an offense: pardon. 2. To renounce anger or resentment against. 3. To absolve from payment of (a debt for example). Forgiveness is very important because it enable all of us to do things God’s way. When we forgive the next person, this really takes a whole lot of work. It is not very easy forgiving every one of their actions. This means we have to learn a brand new behavior. This behavior itself takes a lot of practice and patience. For example, I know that I have a lot of enemies from my past and present. I also realize that in order to go straight to heaven, I have to pardon a whole lot of people from what they have done to me. This also leads to anger and resentment; this means that I have to let go of my anger and resentments that I have towards other people. I have to exonerate a lot of my family members and people that I used to have as friends; who have turned their backs on me.

Matthew 18:21-22 says Peter asked Jesus how many times we must forgive our brother up to seven times. Jesus said up to seven times seventy. This means that I must continue to forgive as long as I live on earth. I must continue to forgive my brother or anyone. This is very important if I want to go to heaven. I have to continue to forgive my brothers and sisters as well as other people if I want to go directly to heaven. Colossians 3:13 says bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. This is extremely important because when it comes to forgiveness, it is vital and necessary that we forgive each other. No matter what the offense consists of, we must learn to forgive. Forgiveness takes a lot of work because there are a lot of angry people in this world. The people inside of this world are angry with each other.

This anger must be dissolved before we go straight to heaven. This is definitely not a laughing matter. This is very serious!!! Isaiah 43:25 say I, even I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and remember your sins no more. This means that God will remove all of your sins from His sight and remember them no more. It is God who justifies and it is God who judges the sins of the world. We must remember one thing that God is able and willing to remove our sins and man cannot do the things that God can. If any man thinks for himself that he can justify in the same way as God; then he is fooling himself. I know that a lot of people will be in serious trouble.

Galatians 6:1-2 says brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently; but watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. This means that we must restore everyone who is in sin. This must be done in meekness, patience, understanding, meticulous action, and eagerness. This is something that must be done out of kindness and gentleness. Please be very careful, because you can also be tempted in the same exact way. Forgiveness is a two way street. It is something that must be done to appease the Living God. Proverbs 16:32 says better a patient person than a warrior one with self control than one who takes a city. This means that a person must exercise patience and self-control at all times.

Instead of arguing with everyone everywhere you go, it will be best that you do things according to the Word of the Living God. This is serious because God does not want us to be angry with every one that we encounter. God wants all of us to do things gently and carefully. James 4:10 says humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up. This means that as long as we humble ourselves around our Living God, He shall lift us up. This also means that as long as we continue to live according to God’s word, He shall lift us up in due time. James 5:9 says do not grumble against one another brothers and sisters or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door.

This means that we have to keep our mouths shut at times especially when it comes to judging one another. If we are not able to assist anyone in any capacity, then we must be able to pass it on to someone who is qualified to deal with an issue. We also must be very careful because the things that we do for another person, God is judging us all of the time. God is always standing at the door of Judgment. This is very serious to all of us. James 5:19-20 says my brother and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way; will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. This means that we must live right all of the time. This also means that if we see someone in a transgression, we must save them. While doing so, we will be covering over a multitude of sins.

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What does it mean to live inside of a changing society?

What does it means to live inside of a changing society? This is a very great question to ask because of the changes that are being made on a daily basis by city, state, and federal government. Maybe, we need to look up the definition of the word society before I begin to expand on this particular subject. The meaning of the word society is; the community of people living in a particular region and having shared customs, laws, and organizations. This definition applies to all of us living inside of the planet earth. Although, it is not very easy living inside of the United States, simply because of its political system. Our political system consists of two chambers of government. For instance, our political system consists of the House of Representatives and the United States Senate. It also has a president as well as its cabinet members. This also include the the United States Supreme Court, which is the highest court of the country.

Society itself is really made up of the above defined institutions; however, it is not very easy living here because this country has became poor over the past 30 years. For example, inside of the United States, we have to borrow money from other countries in order to survive. The countries national debt is over 15 trillion dollars. This is very serious. How are we going to reduce this national debt? The countries resources have been depleted over the past 15 years. It has been drained because the government has run completely out of money when it comes to dealing with the poor and needy inside of this country.

How come our money is running out so fast? This is simply because of the mistakes from the past. There was an emphasis on military spending at one point; for so many years. This is because our country was at war with a subculture. A subculture is a group of people that make up of a larger one. For instance, terrorism among groups such as Al Qaeda and others must be stopped. This is very serious. However, our USA borders must be protected from drug cartels as well as any additional threats that exist inside of the country. What does it really mean to live inside of a changing society?

The answer to this question is inside of the Holy Bible in the Book of Mark the 13th chapter. It talks about the end of times. An example of this is in verses 8 and 9, which indicates that; for nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be earthquakes in various places, and there will be famine and troubles. These are the beginning of sorrows. In the 9th verse of Mark 13 says that but watch out for yourselves, for they will deliver you up to councils, and you will be beaten in the synagogues. You will be brought to rulers and kings for my sake, for a testimony to them. There are wars that exist right now that will determine the outcome of things.

An example of this is the war on terrorism, which has been existence since 2001. This is simply because of one man’s plan to stop the United States and its allies from doing things in the Middle East. This man as well as its subculture group has been stopped in certain parts of the world. At this time, more work must be done to bring things to a complete end. Inside of the United States right now, there is a battle between the democrats and the republicans over the national budget.
These two groups of people which make up our members of congress cannot come to an agreement on anything at the moment. It is a shame that everyone is blaming the president for all of what is going on nationwide. It is not his fault. It is the other party who is stalling when it pertains to making political decisions for our fellow citizens. It is a shame that; the Republican Party is the only party nationwide that has been a thorn in the side of its fellow citizens. What does it mean to live here at the moment? An answer to this question is I would rather stay here rather than live anywhere else.

Although, I am treated like a slave inside of my own country at the moment, I would prefer to stay in spite of the treatment that I am receiving at this time. The Probate Court System inside of the Montgomery County here in Dayton, Ohio has me making annual appearances based on one alleged behavior that was never explained in court. I am still being punished for what I have done from my past. It really does not make any sense to me. I also have to take a forensic examination each year. All of these things really do not make any sense.

I really do not understand all of this!! I have to live here in spite of all of the problems that I have had in my past. God has forgiven me for all of my actions and behaviors, but man and his court system refuses to forgive others. Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asked Jesus how many times must I forgive my brother for hurting me.

Expectations & Human Relationships

This is a report concerning the expectations when it pertains to human relationships. First, we must ask ourselves a question. What are expectations when it pertains to human relationships? Human Relationships consists of communication both direct and indirect. This means nonverbal and verbal communication as well as association. When we are in close contact with each other, we are learning what the other person is like. We are learning their habits, personality, as well as the way they conduct themselves around others. It does not matter whether these people are in our family or on the street. The best ways to communicate with anyone is by introducing yourself to another person and see what kind of response you will receive. Second, another way of communicating to others is by letter or online. Although this is classified as maintaining a false relationship or a pen-pal, but sometimes this leads into a relationship that is direct eventually, if things turn out positive. However, in most cases, people get hurt because the other person’s expectations are different than yours.

What do we mean by expectations? Let’s look at what is the definition of an expectation. An expectation is a goal or a set standard that is derived from the behavior of people. Our expectations when it pertains to human relationships are to make sure that we are honest and truthful to the best of our ability. When we are honest and truthful to another person, we are doing God’s work. If we are content with our own actions, why worry. I am a person who does not worry what others think about me. It is God who has the final word. Man can make an opinion and this is it. Man cannot tell me what to do when I am an adult. I am supposed to love and respect my parents as well as my elders.
When it comes to people, I am supposed to love them as well. I am also supposed to exercise and use discretion at all times. My expectations when it comes to human relationships are to do my very best to assist the other person. This is by showing them that I can love them for the person that they are without hurting them in any way. I try my very best each day not to damage others no matter where they come from. No matter what their socio-economic background consists of, I am supposed to respect you. Life itself is really what you make of it. Learning how to respect others instead of hurting them because of what they have or do not have. It is not all about what possessions that you have as a person. It is all about how others receive you as a member of the human race.
You know that another person can disrespect you by calling you names that can damage you, but as long as you are breathing and living, you must still stand strong. Never allow the shallow expectations of others to cause you to crumble. Standing up for yourself and making a direct stand in your own life, makes you strong as a person. We all have rights as United States Citizens and we must use these rights to stand up for ourselves in a very positive way. We must learn to be proactive rather than reactive. Your expectations are just yours.

They cannot be transferred to another person unless they are your children. Your children alone are supposed to listen to their parents. Adults on the other hand have choices. This comes when we are selecting a significant other or a spouse in our lives. I cannot tell you to marry me and demand it. I can only persuade you. I can make a statement and ask you in a very nice way about marriage. This is your choice alone. I have made numerous of good and bad choices in my life. I cannot allow the choices that I have made in my own past to slow down my progress. My goals and expectations as a member of the human race are to become successful as a God Fearing Man.

I know that I must make good choices and my expectations when it comes to human relationships are to become spouse or significant other for that special female in my life. God will bless me with that special female who is a God Fearing Woman who has special qualities. She is that diamond that shines as soon as it has emerged from the ground. This diamond I will cherish forever. I will do everything in my power to keep this diamond in my possession for the rest of my entire existence. A solid Gold Bouillon is the same exact way. The way I personally feel from the inside out, is that I want a female who shares the same ideas just like me.

I like to converse with her on a daily basis and share about my entire day. There are player hating men out there who just do not want the next man to have a good African American woman. I am telling you the truth. Men are so jealous of each other that they need to mind their own business. This is a big problem in the African American Community, this is called jealousy. Men have always been jealous of the other and this is causing an outrage in our community when it comes to women. This is the reason why African

Men, Women, & Communication

The differences between men & women when it comes to communication are that men are apt to resolve problems quickly and women are more prone to solutions through direct concessions. These concessions are done through compromise. It might take a while to come to a compromise with women. This is because some men cannot be trusted. Men tend to evade the truth by looking directly away from women when they are confronted. When women look at men directly inside of their eyes, this is an indication that a woman is looking for a man to tell her the truth.
This is direct communication and it is face to face. I am the type of man who will look directly inside of anyone’s face while I am talking to them. A woman of any type does not have to worry about me hiding anything from her. I am the type of person who will reveal anything to anyone at anytime. Some people who refuse to acknowledge the truth will become quarrel minded, and become confrontational. This is because they are afraid of being confronted about their own active issues. In a relationship, it is very important to reveal the truth to your spouse or significant other in a relationship of any type.

If your relationship is one that pertains to cohabitation or a traditional marriage, then communication is very important. Men and women are supposed to learn how to listen and listen with the fullest intent of understanding the other person. I am a person who will take time out of my busy day to listen to the concerns of others. No matter what I am doing in my life, when it comes to a relationship, I know that good communication is the key to a successful relationship. Men must learn how to listen to women. Women must learn how to listen to men as well. Therefore, it is important to understand the other person.

Men and women are totally different when it comes to communication. This is because women are more social than men in the first place. Women are more inclined to communicate for the sole purpose of establishing relationships and gaining a sense of a common ground. When this is established, then a woman will be content in her social awareness and she will gain a sense of trust with others as long as trust and understanding has been complete and established with that person that she is in contact with. Men on the other hand establish relationships differently. Men tend to establish relationships through communication with a specified purpose. This is not a competitive thing; it is about establishing contacts with the opposite sex to the point that it becomes a mission for him.

Perhaps in some cases men just wanted to have a relationship without boundaries. A relationship without boundaries and limitations when it pertains to women is so shallow minded. I mean that men just want to try to do something to the point that it is like a lion searching for food. I am not saying that all men are like this. Their intentions and expectations change according to time. Women are intellectual beings!!!! Women who are intellectual beings will see right through a man’s plot to try to conquer her quickly that a man’s skin will curl up like a potato bug.
This is because some men become target minded. What I mean by this is that men will only fulfill a quest to conquer women without establishing a commitment. Women want a sense of commitment with a man in the first place. I can understand this because this is what I want for myself with a real woman. I want to establish a commitment, but a legitimate friendship first. By establishing a friendship with a real woman, you are trying to understand her from the inside out. You are becoming honest in your efforts to have a relationship without violating her privacy. Women deserve respect to the utmost.

Remember men of the world, a woman is not a piece of meat or a spoonful of sugar. They deserve love, honesty, dignity, respect, and they also need to be treated like decent human beings. They are our auxiliaries’ men okay!!! Remember it is a woman who brings life into the world but only through your assistance okay. You must learn how to treat them with respect. If you love and respect your own mother, then you will learn how to treat a real woman with respect. It is about love, truth, honesty, and respect when it comes to having a successful relationship. Always remember that good communication is the key to having a successful relationship. I am an advocate when it comes to the truth.

The older you get the wiser and intelligent you become. This comes with maturity and experience. Experience is the best teacher!!!!!!!!!!! Learning how to listen to another person and respect that person as a member of the human race is very important. If you are a living soul, then you are blessed each day as a child of God. As a child of God, you must learn how to love, honor, cherish, respect and tell the truth to others.

Life and Communication

Life and Communication is very simple. What are we talking about here? Let’s start off by asking ourselves a very important question. What is life and how it relates to communication? Life is what you really make of things while you are living in the present. Life is your existence that you possess. The air that you breathe as well as flesh that you have. Communication is the language that you speak consisting of dialects as well as methods of words that one use to speak. Your voice that comes from your mouth is used as a means of communication itself.

Life and Communication are intertwined. They are go hand in hand. A communication and human relationship is used when men, women, and children share experiences about their lives to each other that make sense. Men, women, and children speak to each other as a means of sending and delivering messages to one another. When it pertains to this subject, our lives are shaped by the way we conduct ourselves others. It is our personality, disposition, and characteristics that we have that makes others either like or dislike you as a person. Life and Communication is not always easy. It is how you live your life that makes you successful inside of your environment or more apt towards failures. It is not always easy to think that you can obtain everything all in one day. 

You will not obtain all that you need in one day. These things take time. All of these things that people who are possessive tend to hold onto their possessions and past will slowly lose it quickly. When one is possessive, they tend to become selfish in their own way. Men have a tendency to become this way especially when they want control and they are afraid of losing something that was already obtained. Men and women share these characteristics when it comes to possessiveness. Women on the other hand, tend to become possessive when it pertains to resources and finances. When it comes to material things, at least some of them, women are apprehensive of losing them very suddenly. 

There are some who are reluctant to change their names when they are married. Marriage is not the end of the world ladies. It is a lifetime commitment between your spouse and significant other. Cohabitation on the other hand is a trial period in a relationship between a man and a woman. It is a feeling out process and an evaluation of one another in a relationship. This is done by direct and indirect observation. This is also a decision making process to determine if a man or a woman will be willing to share the rest of their lives with the person that they are living with.

Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with the person that you are cohabitating with? This is a very good question for men and women to ask each other while they are involved in their relationships. Traditional marriage is very serious. This is a lifelong decision that sometimes leads to hardship if a person makes a bad decision while they are cohabitating with their spouse or significant other. All couples will have some good and bad times. It is how you make the best of things through those good and bad times.

Life and Communication is splendid if you have the basis already established beforehand. You will have to examine all of your own resources first before you are able to get involved in any relationship with another person. It also starts off by being honest with each other from the onset. Telling the truth about yourself to another person is a good way of establishing better communication skills with that person that you are willing to share your life with. Always remember that deception inside of a relationship leads to failure. A relationship without trust and honesty from the very beginning leads to trouble.

Men and women must always share the truth to each other no matter what happens in their relationships with each other. Life and Communication also pertains to complete families. This is also shared with children so that they will have a basis to follow in their adult life. When children understand certain concepts about telling the truth and not hiding from others, this will help them to improve in their communication skills with others. Children who are productive and honest have successful lives. This comes from being involved in a healthy family who has healthy relationships. 

This comes from learning how to speak to each other in pleasant ways. This also comes from learning how to become honest and truthful. Conflict of Interest comes from those who tend to deny or refuse the existence of others. This comes from anyone who has children or relationships with others and denies it from the very start. A conflict of interest can also come from an interest that is taken out of context. This pertains to businesses and partnerships that are established by others who make agreements and do not keep them. A technicality is something that is meaningful and relevant only in principle. 

The Life and Times of Anthony Joseph Hopkins from Dayton, Ohio February 16, 2022

                           Preface

        Good Day Everyone!!  My name is Anthony Joseph Hopkins, and I am from Dayton, Ohio.  This book is dedicated to all of the members of my family who are no longer with us right now.  My mother, sister, great aunt, and my two grandmothers and grandfathers.  It has taken a very long time for me to write this autobiography.  The people who I am dedicating this book have been solely responsible for helping me to get on my feet.  They have molded me into the person that I am right now. 

        Next, I want to inform everyone that this book will be written in first person.  The reason why is because I do not have permission from my family members and friends to use their names in my book.  I am also dedicating this book to all of my family members and friends.  I am a person who has come a very long way in my life.  The purpose of writing this book is to edify everyone from all walks of life.  Writing helps me to cope with a mental illness called schizoid affective disorder.  I was diagnosed with a mental illness on July 15, 1997.  This day was on a Tuesday. 

        Further, I want to inform all of you that my memory is excellent.  I remember when I was a child, my sister told me that I am going to be successful someday.  She also mentioned to me that I am going to become the first person out of the family to graduate from high school.  My two grandmothers and grandfathers taught me how to be a human being with a lot of common sense.  My mother used to read to me when I was inside of her stomach.  My mother was young when she gave birth to me.  My mother graduated from Roosevelt High School in Dayton, Ohio in 1961.  She graduated from school with honors.

        Moreover, my mother had given birth to nine children.  My mother got married when she was 23 years old.  My sister was born on September 18, 1967.  She was my mother’s second oldest child.  My grandmothers were the Rock which kept the family together.  My grandmothers allowed me to live with them when I was at least 6 months old.  My grandparents took me to church all of the time. 

        Finally, the purpose of this autobiography is to help those people who did not earn enough education to read this book without using a lot of big words.  I am writing this book because I am edifying a nation of young people who grew up very hard in life.  This is a book that is simple.  This is an easy read.  This is a book that will take everyone on a journey through the mind of a person who had a very difficult upbringing.  This is a book that will have everyone thinking twice and reflect on their own life.

 This is a book that is not boring.  The purpose of this book is to cause everyone to examine their life and say “Did I go through that myself.  I am writing just to cope well with my own personal demons.  I am writing this book just to help everyone think and reflect on their own personal life. 

        On Thursday June 24, 1965 at 7:30PM I was born to my mother.  My mother was 21 years old when I was born.  My father did not acknowledge my mother because his name is not on my birth certificate.  Therefore, I became a bastard child.  Like they say, mother’s baby daddy’s maybe.  I was born at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Dayton, Ohio.  After my mother had given birth to me, she took me to my grandmother’s house.  I guess, my mother had a life other than being a mother for the first time.  I supposed being a mother was very difficult for her. 

During the first 7 years of my life, I was raised by my great grandmother.  I recall attending Bethel Church of God in Christ, which is located in Dayton, Ohio.  Bethel Church of God in Christ became my church for quite a few years.  My two grandmothers accepted me into their household.  I grew up with a lot of women inside of the house.  While living with my grandmothers, I read the Bible.  I attended Edison Elementary School in Dayton, Ohio.  The first 7 years of my life had many ups and downs. 

However, it was rough living on the West Dayton, Ohio.  I remember a whole lot about my childhood.  I remember when the African Americans lived around a lot of factories.  I also remember when the police used to harass African American Men all of the time.  There was a period of time when single women used to keep the men away from their houses.  If you were not married, you could not live with a single mother with children.

 The Child Welfare agencies used to come around and check to see if there were any men’s clothes inside of the house.  If so, then a mother would eventually got evicted from her house.  A single mother would lose her food stamps and benefits because she had a man living inside of the residence.  Also, my mother during that time, got married to her husband in 1967.  This was also during the time when my sister was born.  My sister was born on September 18, 1967 at St. Elizabeth Medical Center.  I do remember when African American children attended schools inside of their neighborhood. 

My mother and her husband lived inside of an apartment located on 1119 West Third Street in Dayton, Ohio.  My mother was doing very well for herself.  Her husband was a veteran in the Armed Forces.  My mother had given birth to a third child on May 31, 1970.  My brother looked like his father.  I was still living with my two grandmothers until September of 1972.  My mother had given birth to another child on July 19, 1971.   As I recall, my mother asked my oldest grandmother could she let me live inside of her apartment with the rest of the family.  My mother had given birth to her fifth child.  On August 12, 1972, one of my baby sisters was born. 

My mother and her husband were happy living together.  In spite of the alcohol that they consumed together, it did not stop them from having children.  I know because every time my mother and her husband used to argue, I ended up staying with my grandmother.  My friends at school used to fight me all of the time.  I even had friends who used to protect me from the school bullies throughout the time I attended Edison School and Franklin School.  My friends came from dysfunctional families themselves. 

One thing that I forgot to mention is that one of my relatives had given birth to her first child when she was 14 years old.  My cousin was born on October 27, 1970.  She looked exactly like her mother.  My grandmother became very angry during that time because one of my female relatives was having sex without using protection.  Afterwards, this same relative gave birth to another child on August 29, 1972.  I was only seven years old when all of this has been taking place. 

Oftentimes, things did not change inside of my grandmother’s house either.  I was forced to go live with my mother.  My female relative kept having children.  It is a shame because my grandparents were upset because my female relatives did not listen to her own mother.  I want to inform all of you that both places had chaos.  My mother used to help me with my homework because I did not like math.  My mother helped me with my math homework because the teachers at Edison School were preoccupied with taking care of other children.  To be honest with you, parents used to bring their kids to school just to get a break from them.  Therefore, all of the schools inside of the neighborhood became safe havens for children.

My mother and her husband became occupied with giving birth to children that I was up to here with the giving births to children.  My mother had me raising children myself.  I remember when I had to change baby diapers and take care of my younger siblings that I did not have a proper childhood.  My safe haven at the time became a nursery for children.  I am referring to my grandmother’s house.  My older female relatives kept giving birth to their children.  Do you know that it is frustrating when a mother could not stop having children?  The 1970s were very difficult for all of us in the family.  I stayed with my grandmother for another few years because Children Services came to my mother’s house and they remanded my siblings into their custody because of what was going on inside of the house.

My female relatives were having children nonstop.  As I recall, I had to sit inside of my mother’s house and change diapers while my mother used to stay away from the home.  I recall having a conversation with the school nurse regarding my mother’s husband.  This is because we ended up getting tuberculosis in 1976.  My mother’s husband had the disease and we all had it.  The 1970s were hard on me because I had to travel from place to place.  Some of the excitement that I had was when I used to play basketball at Edison School.  I played basketball at the YMCA during the weekends.  I also played basketball at Franklin School for one year.  In spite of all of the dysfunctional family behavior in my own family; I still spent time with my friends inside of the neighborhood.

My mother had given birth to three other children from 1974 to 1977.  My siblings and I had a lot of fun.  I know that I am the oldest child in my family.  I guess, I relied on church, school, and the YMCA as a safe haven.  My mother pawned her shotgun at the Pawn Shop just to pay for a membership at the YMCA for all of us.  My family had grown tremendously during the 1970s.  While I was a student in school, I was a C average student.  I could not stand math.  I abhorred math intensely.  The subjects that I had excelled in were English, Spelling, Science, Social Studies, and Gym.  I did not like math. 

In Addition, I also used to play basketball at Riverview Park from 1976 to 1980.  I will also admit that I had to attend Summer School in the 3rd grade and 7th grade.  I had to attend Longfellow and MacFarlane Schools because Edison was not open during the summer.  I used to write inside of a journal just to keep my thoughts in check.  The 1970s were rough on me because I had to fight a lot of people.  I want to inform everyone that I attended Roth High School on September 5, 1979.  I was a freshman during that time.  I was taking NJROTC classes.  As soon as I got to high school, I made a lot of mistakes.  I was smoking marijuana with my friends.

Also, I traveled in high school to Norfolk, Virginia and Chicago, Illinois.  As I got older, I rebelled against my mother and her husband.  I do recall fighting girls in class.  I had a lot of fun, but my family members were doing everything that I was doing.  I remember my freshman year in high school, I only missed 22 days the entire year. 

The 1980s were terrible for me and my family.  I remember when I missed over 100 days the entire year my sophomore year in school.  I failed school for two straight years.  When my baby brother was born on April 29, 1980, I had to stay at home and take care of him, I really did not care about myself back in the 1980s.  My mother sent me to Job Corps in Grand Rapids, Michigan on June 22, 1983.  I really did not stay in Job Corps very long because my behavior was terrible. 

On April 18, 1984, I was inside of a car with a Caucasian Man and I was transported to the hospital because we crashed into a railroad bridge.  I had to wear a neck brace for almost a month.  I had whiplash.  Three months later, I broke my left-hand playing basketball on Friday July 6, 1984 at 3:45PM.  I was so intoxicated that I had to wait until the next day before I was able to have surgery on my left hand and wrist.  The 1980s were working out for me.  I guess I had to change my attitude.  The definition of the word attitude is a state of mind or a particular feeling.  I do remember graduating from high school on June 10, 1986 from Paul Laurence Dunbar High School in Dayton, Ohio.  The School Counselor stated to me that I finally finished school.  The School Counselor prayed for me for three years. 

I recall learning how to box when I was 14 years old.  I did not excel in the sport because I spent too much time getting high and drinking beer.  My life was filled with ups and downs.  I learned how to play pool when I was eight years old.  Santa Claus blessed me with a pool table when I was in the 3rd grade.  I had that pool table for 4 years.  I do recall living in different neighborhoods in Dayton, Ohio.  I used to live inside of a rat-infested house located on Williams Street.  This occurred when I was 12 years old.  My mother was angry because I started drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana at an early age.

 My mother stayed away from the house for at least 2 years.  My siblings and I had to raise ourselves.  This is the reason why my siblings and I do not get along because they continue to talk and live in the past.  I am too old to be trying to live in the past.  What happened in the past stays in the past.  There were so many things that has transpired that it is very hard to leave the past in the past.  I entered college for my freshman year on Monday April 1, 1987.  I enrolled in college at Central State University in Wilberforce, Ohio.  I wrote so many papers in my first year that I really did not want anyone to know about my past.  I stayed in college for 2 years.  I did better in college than in high school.

I do remember spending time in the Marine Corps.  I did not stay in there very long either.  I hurried up and went back to college.  When it comes to employment, I worked at restaurants such as Skyline Chili for almost 2 years.  I also worked at the King Cole Restaurant as a dishwasher.  I also worked at Church’s Chicken for one day.  It was hard because they had me frying chicken.  I could not keep up with the demand of the customers.  I used to go to the Pine Club Restaurant with my grandmother during the weekends.  I had to cut onions all of the time.  I also peeled potatoes.  My grandmother used to pay me for helping her at the restaurant.

I want to inform everyone that I have made a hard bed for myself.  What I am saying is that I am responsible for making a lot of mistakes.  I want to say that most of the time during the 1980s, I became a juvenile delinquent.  I smoked marijuana and I have consumed Canadian Ace Beer.  This became my beer of choice.  I want to inform all of you that I have made a lot of mistakes.  My mother gave up on me.  My father only seen me one time in his life.  This was the time I was 5 years old.  I want to say that my life was rough because I had to raise my younger siblings and myself. 

Furthermore, I had problems in school because I graduated from Paul Laurence Dunbar High School at the age of 20.  I had to attend Longfellow School, which became an alternative school for troubled kids.  I attended Longfellow from September 6, 1984 until January 30, 1986.  I remember earning 9 high school credits in one year.  To be honest, I had spent a great deal of time at the Montgomery County Public Library in Dayton, Ohio.  I want to say that the library itself became a safe haven for me.  At least, I did not get into trouble while I was at the library.

Eventually, I had to go to college at Central State University for 2 years.  I remember writing my first paper it was about sexual immorality.  I received an A- on the paper.  I went ahead and hand written my paper.  I had taken classes on how to use a computer.  Matter of fact, I still have my computer disk from college.  I enjoyed my time in college.  I had an opportunity to make new friends.  I was surprised because I became both an extrovert and introvert during my college career. 

In Other Words, I was all alone.  I stayed with my grandmother until September 30, 1986.  My grandmother told me to spread my wings and fly.  I knew exactly what she meant.  She put me out of her house.  I finished high school and I had to leave.  Frankly, I had to leave.  My female relative stayed inside of my grandmother’s house until she was 45 years old.  I come from a dysfunctional family.  I really did not have my first sexual encounter until I was 21 years old.  I had to purchase sex from a woman.  From June 24, 1986 until July 3, 2010, I purchase sex from women.  I remember when I was involved in my first relationship.  I was 24 and my girlfriend was 35 years old.  She used me for money and sex.  I contracted gonorrhea from her because I was performing oral sex on her all of the time.

Besides, I was learning about the opposite sex.  I used to be intimidated of women.  I purchase sex for a number of years.  This is simply because I acquired a sense of maturity.  I was a person who had to learn the hard way about everything that I got involved in.  My family members clowned me because I had spent a great deal of time learning about women.  Although I lived with my grandmothers and other female relatives.  I got used by the women of the streets because I did not have any role models growing up.  My grandparents, aunt, uncles, and other relatives did not know exactly what I was doing.  I kept it to myself. 

In Spite of all of the women that I got connected with during the years, I have managed to get involved in one relationship for a total of 9 years.  My relationships that I have had during the 1980s were brief.  I did not learn anything from these women.  The only thing these women wanted was money.  Back to the lecture, I had to learn a lot about women by spending my money on them.  When I thought about it, I thought all women wanted money and that is it. 

Ordinarily, I became a person who was content with only having sexual encounters with women.  I have a lot of female friends that I grew up with.  It is that, I managed to make a complete fool out of myself.  In the Bible, it states that if a man is involved with a prostitute, he becomes one with her.  1st Corinthians; KJV says 1 Corinthians 6:16 KJV: What? know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.  I did not know that if I continued to have sex with female prostitutes, I become one flesh with her.  This is the truth!!  To be frank with all of you, I really did not know that if I continue to affiliate myself with these prostitutes, I become one flesh with her.

Contrarily, I am living in sin, if I unite myself with these women.  I really did not know this until I started reading the Bible.  This is the reason why my grandmother told me in my face that: He who keeps mouth and soul, keeps himself from troubles.  My grandparents were God Fearing People.  They used Bible verses every single day.  My grandparents were very intelligent people.  I see why my grandparents and mother were giving me instructions out of the Bible.  I attended church on a regular basis with my grandparents.  This is the reason why I am a biblically sound person.  I use Bible verses each day. 

Most Important, I became a very honest person.  I really did not know about 1st Corinthians 6:16 until my grandmother told me that I was a harlot lover.  My grandparents told me to stay away from street women.  I did not know at the time that I was making a big mistake by having sex with female prostitutes.  I literally did not know what I was doing to myself.  My parents stayed on me because I was the oldest person out of my mother’s children.  I understand why my grandmothers emphasized the Bible to me.  I know all about the Bible.  I read the Bible every single day of the week.  I read one Bible verse per day. 

Otherwise, I would not have finished college.  I would have been dead from AIDS or contract a serious disease from having sex with female prostitutes.  The 1980s was a period of transition for me.  I have learned a lot about women.  I lived inside of the YMCA for a year and a half.  I also lived inside of rooming houses from 1988-1990.  I used to live at 925 Porter Avenue in Dayton, Ohio.  I did not know that the house itself housed mentally ill people.  This is the reason why I had to stay away from the clients that were living inside of the house.  I worked at the Skyline Chili Restaurant for almost 2 years.  I also worked at McDonalds Restaurant for a short period of time.

In Addition, I was learning about the opposite sex.  I have made a hard bed for myself until 1990.  My grandmother told me to go to church, and I did attend church on a regular basis.  I remember when I cohabitated with an older woman.  She used me for the money that I had given her.  I caught her having sex with another man.  This was during the time that I was living on 108 Federal Street in Dayton, Ohio.  I was in a relationship with a real harlot.  She was having sex with other men for money.  On October 29, 1989, I contracted gonorrhea from having sex with my girlfriend.  We agreed to live inside of the same place.  I literally paid all of the bills.  This woman made a complete fool out of me.

Then, she made me cry because I saw her having sex with another man.  She told me to my face that she did not love me in the first place.  I remember when this young lady ran down the street in the rain.  She told me to my face that she was using me.  Afterwards, I moved out of the apartment that I was living with her.  I went to Alcohol and Drug Treatment back in 1990.  I stayed in treatment for at least 6 months.  I learned a valuable lesson from my relationship.  I did not trust women after that.  It has taken me years before I was able to forgive my cohabitating girlfriend. I remember working at Arby’s Restaurant in Downtown Dayton, Ohio.  I worked there for at least 3 months.

Meanwhile, I had to receive treatment again.  My girlfriend gave me gonorrhea inside of my mouth.  I had to go to the Health Department in Downtown Dayton, Ohio.  I had to receive a shot of penicillin.  I also had to take medication for 14 days.  I moved out of the apartment on 108 Federal Street.  I want to inform everyone that I stayed with my grandparents for a short time.  I remember staying with my grandparents until I went to treatment.  I had a hernia operation on Friday May 4, 1990.  I had a hernia for doing some heavy lifting.  I had a huge bulge on my groin.  I was washing dishes at the King Cole Restaurant inside of Downtown Dayton, Ohio.  I worked at the King Cole Restaurant from November 20, 1989 to September 1, 1990. 

Prior to my surgery, I had sex with another harlot.  I received oral sex.  I actually stopped drinking and smoking marijuana on Wednesday May 2, 1990.  I decided to give up the high cost of low living.  I had to make a living for myself.  God sure was with me.  This is simply because I had to stay inside of St. Elizabeth Medical Center for the night.  I was not able to urinate because I had severed my main bowel.  I had a catheter inside of me.  It sure did hurt going inside of me and out of me.  I met a nurse that I grew up with.  She knew me from Edison School. 

I stayed inside of St. Elizabeth Hospital until 5:00PM on Saturday May 5, 1990.  I was transported by my grandmother neighbor to my grandparent’s house.  I stayed with my grandparents until I was able to go to treatment from drugs and alcohol.  My former girlfriend stayed inside of 108 Federal Street with her associate.  I did not see her until Friday September 1, 1990 at 5:30PM.  I saw her moving inside of an apartment on William Street.  She was making a life with her lover.  On this particular day, I moved to Toledo, Ohio on the same day that I saw my ex-girlfriend.  I remember Toledo, Ohio very well.  I stayed inside of a hotel on the Eastside of Toledo, Ohio.

Subsequently, I lived in the Toledo, Ohio area for almost 6 years.  I remember when I carried a map with me.  I studied the map of Toledo, Ohio for at least 3 months.  While in Toledo, Ohio; I remember going to the Mission which was located on Jefferson Street.  I stayed at the Mission for less than a week.  I got a job working at Midwestern Bulk Bag Company, which is located on City Park Avenue.  I worked at the company for at least a few months.  I remember traveling to Dayton, Ohio on Friday October 31, 1990.  I was with a close friend of mine.  I met him while working with the company.  During that time, I was having sex with harlots on a regular basis.  I was not involved in a relationship anymore.  At least, I thought I was moving on with my life.

In the meantime, I was getting accustomed to the Toledo, Ohio Area.  I remember spending the night at the job because I was still homeless.  My supervisor at the time, allowed me to move inside of a room at his mother’s house on Delaware Avenue.  I stayed there for only a few months.  I had to pay at least $500.00 dollars per month for a room.  I met my supervisor’s family members.  They were very nice to me.  My main objective was to attend school at the University of Toledo.  I worked at the Midwestern Bulk Bag company for at least 6 months.  I attended Friendship Missionary Baptist Church located on Nebraska Avenue in Toledo, Ohio.  I got baptized at Friendship Missionary Baptist Church on the 4th Sunday of 1991. 

Honestly, my time in Toledo, Ohio went very well.  The supervisor and I got into an altercation because he did not pay me.  The supervisor at Midwestern Bulk Bag Company swindled me out of my money.  I had to go to a Hearing at the Employment Office because he refused to grant me unemployment compensation.  To be honest with everyone, I did not work there long enough to receive unemployment compensation.  I had to move from the residence located on West Delaware Avenue in Toledo, Ohio.  I had to go back to the Mission until April of 1991.  While at the Mission, someone had stolen my wallet.  I saw the person who had taken my wallet.  I chased him down Madison Avenue with a brick inside of my hands.  I had to start all over.  I was furious at that man.

I used to go to the 15th Street Mission just to eat every single day.  I stayed on Yates Avenue for a period of time.  I had to move out of the place on Yates Avenue after getting into an argument with my roommate.  He was not paying his portion of the rent.  The 1990s were very good to me.  I remember spending the night with a young lady, who had twin girls.  I attended the University of Toledo on Monday April 1, 1991 until June 14, 1996.  While attending the University of Toledo, I had taken classes at the Substance Abuse Services Incorporated.  I attended classes with quite a few other young men.  I received a brief scholarship at the University of Toledo.  At least, my classes were paid for one academic year. 

I remember staying at the Mission for another week, until one of my female classmates allowed me to spend some time with her at her house.  We were in the same class.  I remember taking a class called Culture and Concepts at The University of Toledo Community and Technical College at Scott Park.  The class was crowded every single day.  I received a B+ as my final grade.  I also had taken an English class as well.  My female classmate brought me to her father’s house.  Which was located at 126 Rosalind Place in Toledo, Ohio.  I stayed at the house for almost 4 years.

Also, I want to say that the house itself used to be a crack house.  There were other tenants who lived at the house on Rosalind Place.  These individuals were very nice to me.  I know that the house itself was old, but I needed somewhere to live.  I caught the #24 Delaware Avenue Bus to school every single day.  There were times when I stayed on the campus because I had to study for my mid-terms and final exams. 

Then, I had slept inside of one of the classrooms at University Hall for a few days.  I then saw my friend, and we had a lot of fun.  She was from New York!!  I can tell because of her accent.  I used to hang around her on a daily basis.  I remember taking a class called Techniques of Interviewing with a famous teacher at Comm-Tech.  I enjoyed the class because I had learned how to communicate with other people.  I want to inform all of you that I used to have a very serious disposition problem.  I used vulgarity during class.  To be honest with all of you, I almost got kicked out of school because of my behavior.

All of my teachers prayed for me for 5 consecutive years.  I had to receive speech therapy due to a broken jaw.  The therapist stated that my jaw prevented me from saying certain words.  I also had a learning disability as well.  Therefore, I had to receive additional help with college because I used to have a writing problem.  I accepted the extra assistance with college because it enabled me to learn how to read and write better.  On Saturday June 12, 1993 I earned my Associates Degree in Social Services Technology.  My mother, baby sister, and nephew attended my college graduation.

There are so much that I can talk about in this manuscript.  I cannot mention the names of the people that I was involved with because I have not received their permission to share their names and other information about them.  I had to attend church on a regular basis.  I remember my instructors stated to me that I had to watch my mouth in class.  I had learned how to write very well.  Although I had problems in math, I still managed to pass my math classes with a D+ average.  I could not grasp the formulas when it came to math.  I passed all of my other classes with a B or a C+ average. 

I am a person who has come a very long way.  I had come a very long way in life itself.  I want to say that I connected with other women in college.  I remember being transferred to the Bancroft Street Campus during the Fall of 1993.  I had taken some very difficult classes.  While taking classes at the Bancroft Street Campus, I had to move to 526 Highland Avenue because my house got burned down during my Junior year of college.  I stayed with a real nice family.  I had to catch the #26 Bus home from college.  I caught the #22 Bancroft Street Bus to class.  My classes started at 8:00AM.

During the next couple of years, I had to enroll into some very difficult classes.  I prayed about it.  I had a game plan.  It was to finish my Bachelors Degree by June of 1995.  I got accepted into the University College program.  I had to develop an individual plan.  I wrote it!!  I got accepted by a Committee of people who were solely responsible for looking at all of my classes that I had to take.  To be honest with all of you, I had too many credits to graduate from college.  I remember taking a very difficult class called Social Psychology.  The instructor gave me a C- as my grade because he stated that my final paper was scrapped.  The class was difficult, but I managed to pass the final exam with an A.

Specifically, I had to get really serious about my career during that time because I got a Job working at the Jerusalem Outreach Center in Toledo, Ohio.  I completed my internship and I received an A+ because I had experience when it comes to Street Gangs.  I used to be involved in Street Gangs for 11 years.  Frankly, during the time that I was involved in Gangs, I had managed to miss school, and indulge in alcohol as well as smoking marijuana.

Truly, I made a complete fool out of myself throughout the 1980s and almost messed up during the 1990s.  This was during the time that I did not care about myself.  The only thing that I was doing was reading the Bible all of the time.  I knew that I had to make some changes as far as my behavior is concerned.  I had to put myself in check because I was getting older.  It appeared to me that I was dealing with harlots and traveling across the country.  I remember when I used to live on Rosalind Place in Toledo, Ohio; I was having sex all of the time.  I did all of my homework from class first and foremost.  I had sex with a very beautiful light skinned woman, but I cannot mention her name.  I made love to her for 3 years straight.

Honestly, I became addicted to sex.  I had to get a job back then because I had to pay for my classes.  I had to have some money to support my sexual appetite.  I know that I did not have any business dealing with harlots.  I know that I got hired as a Library Assistant at the University of Toledo Carlson Library on Friday December 15, 1992.  I had a lot of fun working at the Library.  My classes were getting difficult.  I attended church and I prayed to God about my classes at school. 

Thus, I want to say that my family itself was growing.  My siblings were having children.  I had managed to avoid getting any female pregnant.  I used condoms all of the time.  I did what my mother, aunt, great aunt, and grandmothers told me to do.  I stayed in school until June 14, 1996.  It is that I had to pay rent at the place that I was living at.  My rent went up to $250.00 per month.  This was also a time when I started college work study.  I remember when the Landlord spent 3 years in prison.  He was involved in selling drugs.  He spent time behind bars for selling drugs to the police. 

I was working three jobs back during that time because my classes and tuition went up.  I had to pay more money for classes at the University of Toledo.  I had taken my classes and I worked on campus.  I want to say that I learned a whole lot about real life.  Throughout my 5-year career at the University of Toledo, I have managed to make friends with some very nice-looking young ladies.

 I learned how to maintain professional behavior.  I had to move back to Dayton, Ohio for one year.  I transferred to Sinclair Community College for one year.  I had an operation on Wednesday November 26, 1996.  I had stomach ulcers, and I was suffering from acid reflux disease.  My mother and my grandparents became my biggest supporters.  I had a lot of fun, but things got serious when I contracted scabies on Monday January 13, 1997.  I had scabies for 49 days.  I had to go to the hospital several times for treatment of the scabies.  My family members were very upset with me.  For the next three months, I had to live with my sister in Fairborn, Ohio.  I had to pay rent at my sister’s house.  She had 4 children during that time.  I was working two jobs at that time.  I worked at Kroger and Sinclair Community College.

Afterwards, I decided to move to Charlotte, NC on Sunday June 15, 1997.  After careful deliberation, I had decided to travel to Charlotte, NC because I had problems that I was not able to resolve with my family.  From June 15, 1997 to February 28, 1998, I was living at the Men’s Uptown Shelter.  I had to attend AA Meetings on a daily basis.  I remember staying at the Men’s Uptown Shelter, I went to the hospital several times for my behavior.  I remember on Tuesday July 15, 1997, I got into a fist fight with someone inside of the Offsite Room.  I threw a chair at someone.  The person who was conducting the AA Meeting transported me to the hospital because the medication Prednisone messed me up.  I became manic.

I remember staying one week inside of a Behavior Hospital.  I had to take a medication called Depakote.  I was prescribed 3600 milligrams of Depakote, and I had to take other medication just for behavior reasons.  Inside of the hospital, there were patients who were worse off than me.  I had problems with medication, and they sent me to the hospital.  During the eight months at the Men’s Uptown Shelter, I met some friends.  I met someone who was from Maiden, NC.  I also met someone who was from Philadelphia, PA.  I hung around my friends at that time.  I had some good times because I was getting familiar with Charlotte, NC.

Next, I had to apply for Social Security on September 21, 1997.  I had to appear to a Hearing at the Access Project with members of the Access Project and other staff members from the Social Security Administration.  I got approved on February 21, 1998.  I remember leaving the Men’s Shelter, owing them $738.00 dollars in rent.  I moved inside of my apartment at Charlottetown Terrace Apartments.  I stayed there for almost three years.  I used to frequent the University of North Carolina at Charlotte Atkins Library on a daily basis.

Subsequently, I ended up getting a job working at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte on Monday March 5, 2001.  I was enrolled in classes at the UNCC for less than a month because I was automatically withdrawn from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte for not getting my immunization shots.  Prior to my UNCC experience, I worked at the United States Census Bureau for less than six months.  I had to take classes at the job.  I do remember going back home for three months because I got into an argument with a close female friend.  It was a misunderstanding that I had with her.  I went home just to cool off behaviorally.  I came back to Charlotte, NC on October 3, 2000. 

Before my UNCC experience, I worked at the UPS located on Graham Street in Charlotte, NC for less than six months.  I worked at temporary places for almost six months.  I ended up living with someone for at least nine years.  Got involved in a relationship with a female for nine years. I had a lot of fun with her.  We are still friends through this day.  I want to inform all of you that she taught me how to cook, and be a real man.  My previous relationship with an older woman did not work out because she used me for what I can give her.

I want to inform all of you that I have changed behaviorally because my close female friend taught me how to really be a man.  I know that I am guilty of running away from my problems.  I am guilty of not completing all of my tasks as assigned to me.  I am the type of person who does not like to argue with anyone.  I will debate if necessary.  I really like the college life.  I love women from all racial backgrounds.  I have 15 manuscripts copyrighted.  I have a lot of essays.  I have a journal that I have been keeping since 1985.  My life at this time is simple.  I will admit that I have a whole lot to say, but I will have to allow the general public to finish writing my autobiography. 

Furthermore, I want to say that there is a whole lot that I have left out because I would like for all of my family members and friends to comment on my autobiography.  There is so much to talk about.  I love music!!  I love to travel to different cities that are inside of the United States.  I will admit that I have spent so much money on sex that I could have purchased a brand-new car.  I have so much to share that I have to share it at another time.

Further, I want to say that I am very familiar with the cities that I used to live at for the past 30 years.  I have a photostatic memory just like my family members.  I would like to share my experiences when it comes to dealing with animals and people.  I used to have three dogs.  One of my dog’s name was Midnight.  Midnight saved my life on Sunday December 26, 2004.  I was getting ready to sink inside of a sinkhole in Charlotte, NC located on Cindy Lane in Charlotte, NC.  I used to walk my dogs on a trail all of the time.  Midnight used to sleep inside of my shoes when he was a puppy.  I trained him to use the restroom outside as a little puppy.  As soon as he barked at the door, I knew exactly what it meant to me.  I had to take the dog outside for a walk. 

I loved that dog so much that I wanted to bring him to Ohio.  I used to have two other dogs that I became very fond of.  I had a dog named Spot.  He used to belong to a previous owner.  Spot was only three months when I became acquainted with him.  The dogs used to keep me busy.  I love animals of all types.  I used to pick up snakes off the ground with my bare hands.  I love both cats and dogs.  I love nature.  I love working with people from all diverse backgrounds.  I used to work at the Charlotte Mecklenburg School System for a short period of time.  I used to work at numerous of jobs.  I worked at Barnes and Nobles Bookstore for six months.  I worked at other jobs inside of the Charlotte Mecklenburg Area for several years. 

I worked at Charlotte Hornets Arena for a short period of time.  I always kept my day job.  I had to work at least two additional jobs because the cost of living was higher in Charlotte, NC than in Dayton, Ohio.  I remember breaking my jaw during a fist fight that I have had on January 16, 1997.  I want to inform all of you that I got involved with a woman who had several brothers.  I did not know at the time that her brothers did not want me around her.  This is a shame because her previous relationship led to her getting assaulted by her male companion. 

The young lady that I contracted the scabies with on Thursday January 12, 1997 lives in denial.  She stated to me that she did not know me.  She is a liar because we had sex inside of my cousin’s house.  I remember it very well.  I have gotten paid from work on that day because I walked home from work.  I had some money on me.  I saw her, and she asked me What was up?  I told her that I wanted to do something with her.  Suddenly, we had sex.  Only God knows exactly what happened on that particular day.  I want to inform all of you that I have been clean and sober for over 30 years now. 

I have had a lot of fun in my personal life.  I know that this is an autobiography about my personal life.  I have to allow a Power that is greater than myself to review my life from the time that I was a baby until right now.  There is so much that I am leaving out because it is a complete book of my personal life.  I want to inform all of you that God is my Personal Savior.  God knows exactly what happened in my personal life.