My AA Journey & Autobiography
Good Evening Everyone!🙏 How are you doing tonight ? My name is Anthony Joseph Hopkins and I am from Dayton Ohio. I am 60 years old. I have been clean and sober since Wednesday May 2, 1990 at 7:00PM. I want to inform you that I was court ordered into the AA Fellowship by a Common Pleas Courts Judge in Dayton, Ohio on June 1, 1990. I want to inform you that I used to have a very serious drug problem because I was taking all of my money and smoking marijuana and crack cocaine cigars on a regular basis. I used to be married to a female harlot. She refused to get help for her own drug problems. I divorced my ex wife because she had infidelity related issues. She was cheating on me with other men, and I caught her having sex with another man. I was extremely angry with both of them. I used to work 3 jobs during that time. I was not paying my bills. Instead, I had spent all of my salary on our drug habits. My ex wife was worse than me at the time. She was selling her own body for money just to support our drug habits. During an 18 year period, I was drinking alcohol 🍸 and smoking marijuana on a daily basis. Honestly, I was a fetal alcohol syndrome baby at birth. This is simply because my mother used to drink 🍸 alcohol while she was pregnant with me. Additionally, my mother suffered from post partum depression during that time when I was born. When I was 3 months old, my mother took me to my grandmother’s house 🏠 to live for 7 consecutive years. I remember staying with my grandparents. My grandparents took me to church ⛪️ 3 times per week for 7 years. My grandmother used to read my children’s Bible to me every single day for 7 years. My grandparents home 🏡 was, and is still in the Lower Westside of Dayton, Ohio. I was born on Thursday June 24, 1965 at the St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Dayton, Ohio at 7:30pm. My mother’s name was Mary Lois Hopkins, and my biological father’s name was Joseph Odell Webb. My mother 👩 👩🍼 didn’t marry my biological father. I remember spending time with my grandfather, who was living out of state during the summers of 1968 through 1972. My grandparents didn’t drink alcohol. My grandfather attended church on a regular basis himself. I do remember dealing with nature. I used to watch Wild Kingdom on television 📺 at the time ⏲️. I also used to watch Walt Disney movies and shows during the week. Also, I want to inform you that my AA Journey really didn’t start until I was 7 years old. During the year 1972, my grandparents took me to my own mother’s house to live. This is when I started drinking 🍸 alcohol and beer as a child. My mother 👩 married her husband Mr. Willie Andrew Russell Senior until September 18, 1967. She had given birth to my half sister Patricia Russell. She passed away on Friday June 2, 2017; from a rare blood disease due to kidney dialysis. My half sister and I used to walk to Edison Elementary School located on 228 North Broadway Street Dayton, Ohio 45402. At that time; the zip code was 45407. My mother’s house 🏠 was located on 1119 West Third Street Dayton, Ohio 45407(45402) currently. My mother had given birth to my half brother Willie Andrew Russell Junior on May 31, 1970. One year later, she had given birth to my half brother named Dustin Eric Russell. Afterwards, she gave birth to my half sister named Renee Lynn Russell. When I started to live with my mother 👩; she was pregnant 🤰 with my half sister Renee. During that time ⏲️: I had to get used to living in a dysfunctional family household. My mother and her husband used to take me to bootleg joints as a child. This is when I was introduced to alcohol 🍸 officially. My cousin and I used to drink my mother’s beer all of the time. This was also during the time when I started becoming a Juvenile Delinquent. It had taken me at least 3 years to get used to going back and forth between my mother’s house 🏠 and my grandparents house located on 1018 West First Street Dayton, Ohio 45407(45402) currently. I had suffered a great deal of physical, mental, emotional, and psychological trauma by my mother’s husband. Just because I was not my mother’s husband child, he abused me the most. I remember when he had put my head inside of a hot stove, and set my hair on fire 🔥. My mother had shot her own husband for injuring me. For a total of 7 additional years, my mother had given birth to my half sister Tina Marie Russell, Nathaniel Allen Russell, Daniel Allen Russell, and finally Johnny Lee Hopkins Russell. We had moved around the city of Dayton, Ohio inside of houses along the Westside of Dayton, Ohio. I had to attend Edison Elementary School 🏫 for a total of 7 years. I also attended Franklin School 🏫 for 1 year. After I had completed grade school 🏫, I attended Nettie Lee Roth High School from 1979 through 1983. I will admit that was a time ⏲️ when I started drinking 🍸 alcohol and smoking marijuana on a regular basis. I had became a Juvenile Delinquent. This was also during the time ⏲️ I was suspended from school 🏫 for fighting and becoming truant from high school. I do remember on June 22, 1983, my mother sent me to the Grand Rapids, Michigan Job Corps Center for a short period of time. I had only stayed there for a total of 4 months. I got kicked out of Job Corps in Grand Rapids, Michigan because the Administration indicated that I had a very serious problem with drugs. I had committed an assault on a staff members at the facility. On Friday October 22, 1983: I was sent back to Dayton, Ohio from the State of Michigan. My half siblings and I had a real large party at my mother’s house 🏠 located on 13 Edison Street; which was right directly across the street from Edison Elementary School 🏫. My mother lived there for a total of 4 years. From 1981 through 1985, my mother stayed at that address. I do remember drinking heavily during that time because I was involved with street gangs in Dayton, Ohio from 1981 through 1990. I had formed my own gang called the Automatic Boys 👦 😤. This is because we were in possession of Automatic Weapons during that time ⏲️ 😤. From June 10, 1986 until September 1, 1990; I graduated from Paul Laurence Dunbar High School at the Memorial Hall at 7:00PM. Our graduation ceremony lasted until 9:30pm. I had caught the bus to my grandmother’s house 🏠. I had stayed with my grandmother until September of 1986. I got a job working at Skyline Chili Restaurant and the King Cole Restaurant in Downtown Dayton, Ohio. I was dealing with female prostitutes/harlots from June 24, 1986 until Friday July 2, 2010. For a total of 24 years, I was paying for sex. I had spent over $100,000 dollars on sex with female prostitutes/ female harlots. I used to live in a Crack house 🏚 🏠 in the Toledo, Ohio Area for 3 years. I didn’t drink alcohol or smoke any marijuana and crack cocaine cigars. I attended the University of Toledo from Monday April 1, 1991 through June 14, 1996. I had graduated twice from the University of Toledo with my Associates and Bachelors Degrees. Subsequently, I ended up moving back to the Dayton, Ohio Area for a period of 1 year. I was working at Sinclair Community College for 1 year. I also worked at the King Cole Restaurant as a dishwasher. I didn’t move to the Charlotte Mecklenburg Area until Sunday June 15, 1997. I left the Dayton, Ohio Area; out of spite, but it was due to family problems. Prior to that, I was working three jobs in the Toledo, Ohio Area. I worked at the University of Toledo William Carlson Library on the Campus of the University of Toledo for 4 years. I had worked at the Jerusalem Outreach Center as a Youth Counselor from 1993-1996. The address at the Jerusalem Outreach Center was 445 Dorr Street Toledo, Ohio 43602. The University of Toledo address is 2801 West Bancroft Street Toledo, Ohio 43606. I used to reside at 126 Rosalind Place Toledo, Ohio 43610. The Rosalind Place Area used to be a Bloodz Street Gangs turf. This was located right down the street from Toledo Central Catholic High School 🏫. The High School is still located on the corner of Cherry 🍒 Street and West Delaware Avenue in the Toledo, Ohio Area. Right inside of the neighborhood is St. Vincent Hospital 🏥. 1997 to the present day: I used to live at the Men’s Uptown Shelter in Charlotte, North Carolina from June 17, 1997 until Wednesday February 17, 1998. For a total of 8 months; I was homeless. I ended up living at the Men’s Shelter just to receive an address. I attended church ⛪️ 🙏 🙌 ☺️ at the Solid Rock Missionary Baptist Church ⛪️ right across the parking lot from the shelter. I lived and worked at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte from 2001-2009. I used to live all over the city of Charlotte, North Carolina. I also worked several jobs during my 12 years of living in Charlotte, North Carolina Area. I ended up moving back to the Dayton, Ohio Area on Wednesday January 6, 2010. I had lived all around the Dayton, Ohio Area. My mother 👩 died on Thursday July 20, 2017. My biological died on December 17, 2017. Both of them were 73 when they had passed away. My mother 👩 and biological father funerals were held at the House of Wheat Funeral Home located on North Gettysburg Avenue in Dayton, Ohio. My Great Grandmother Funeral was held at McLin Funeral Home 🏡 in Dayton, Ohio. Currently, I have been clean and sober for going on 36 years now. I will admit that I suffer from Schizoid Affective Disorder, Diabetes Type 2, Convulsive Syncope, Glaucoma, Eczema, Heart Failure, and Cataracts in both eyes 👀 right now. I am still working on the 12 Steps of AA Recovery for the past 36 years. My favorite activities are as follows: Reading 📚 the Holy Bible, Traveling across the United States 🇺🇸 of America, visiting the Library in the Dayton, Ohio Area, and Attending Church ⛪️ and Bible Study 📖 📓 on a regular basis. I also suffer from Breakthrough Seizures as well. I am 60 years old. My name is Anthony Joseph Hopkins, and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I am highly intelligent and highly educated. I have a real large family right now. Currently, I have 5 half brothers and 2 sisters. I have a total of 40 neices and nephews right now. I also have 15 great neices and nephews. I have relatives in the Dayton, Ohio Area as well as relatives who are currently living in the lower 48 states inside of the United States of America 🇺🇸. Thank you for keeping it real with me. Thank you for reading my essay 🙏.
Restart Yourself
Important Food Images
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Questions for Job Interview
My Psalm 51 Prayer for Repentance and Forgiveness
Lord God please teach me how to be a Child of The Most High God. Lord God,I am very sorry for hurting you with the bad things that I had done wrong in the past and the present. I am asking You to please forgive me of all of my sins and iniquities and transgressions. Lord God, I am very sorry for for everything that 🙏 I have done wrong presently as well. Lord God please teach me how to become a God-Fearing Man and a mature adult. Lord God, please allow Your Son Jesus Christ to teach me how to become a very transparent person 🙏. Lord Jesus, please come into my heart right now and clean up my overall life right now. Lord Jesus, please teach me how to edify everyone right now. Lord Jesus, please teach me how to communicate with everyone with good sense. Lord God, please bridle my tongue so that I wouldn’t be able to use foul language towards others. Please teach me how to become more transparent with You and Your Son Jesus Christ as well as everyone else worldwide. Lord Jesus, please protect me and my entire family members and friends worldwide from all harm and danger 🙏! Please cure all of us from all of our current sicknesses. Lord Jesus, I am asking You to please blot out all of my sins, iniquities, and transgressions from the past and present. Lord Jesus, I thank you for dieing for my sins and iniquities and transgressions in the past, present, and future 🙏. Lord Jesus, You already know that I am suffering from Seizures and Schizoid Affective Disorder; which is a mental illness as well as Diabetes and Glaucoma and Cataracts in both eyes 👀 right now. Lord Jesus, I am ready to serve You 🙏. I will not be afraid to worship You 🙏 🙌 ✨️. I will not be afraid to praise You. I will always make a joyful noise unto You: Lord God & Jesus The Son. Lord Jesus, I am admitting that I am going to need Your Holy Spirit as my Wonderful Counselor and Advocate for the rest of my entire life 🙏 ❤️. Lord, I surrender to You. I need You! I love You very much. Lord Jesus, Thank You for Keeping it Real with me Sir. Lord Jesus, I am repenting of all of my sins and iniquities and transgressions right now. Lord Jesus please guide me through my roughest terrains of life. Lord Jesus please accept me as I am. My name is Anthony Joseph Hopkins and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic with going on 36 years of being clean and sober from marijuana and alcohol. I am 60 years old. I really need Spiritual Discernment and Spiritual Energy in order to help everyone who is in need of a Savior. I love You, and I need You for as long as I live. Thank You for saving me. Thank You for ordering my steps right now. Lord Jesus, please teach me how to 🙏 🤲 🕍 🕌 ⛪️ 🛕 🙏 🤲. Lord Jesus, please talk to me while I am reading Your Sword of the Spirit; which is the Word of God. Lord Jesus, please heal everyone that I am in contact with each day of all of their physical and mental problems right now 🙏. Lord Jesus, please give me Your Wisdom and Grace & Mercy right now 🙏 ❤️. Thank You for loving me and hearing my personal prayer for forgiveness 🙏. In Jesus name 🙏 ❤️ Amen & Amen 🙏 ❤️ 😊 💙 ☺️ Thank You for listening to me. 🙏 🙏 🙏 Amen 🙏 🙌 👏
The David of Psalm 51.pdf
The David of Psalm 51.pdf https://share.google/X7aQjGhmG7rGOf8fp
Psalm 51 The True Confession & Repentance of Sins Iniquities and Transgressions
My Bible Thoughts With Pastor Rich
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A Cry for Mercy: A Psalm 51 Prayer
There are prayers that rise like incense.
And then there are prayers that spill from the floor.
Psalm 51 is the second kind.
It doesn’t come from a good day.
It comes from ruin—from a man whose sins have caught up with him and a God who still hears him.
This is David, the king who should’ve known better, standing in the ashes of his own decisions. He’d stolen what wasn’t his, silenced the one who stood in his way, and tried to outmaneuver God.
But you don’t outmaneuver a God who sees everything.
So when Nathan pointed a prophet’s finger in David’s face and said, “You are the man,” David didn’t defend himself.
He didn’t explain.
He broke.
And out of that breaking came Psalm 51—a prayer that has carried generations of sinners back to the mercy of God.
A Personal Word: Mercy in the Mudroom
Years ago, after a particularly hard counseling session, I came home heavy. A young man in our church had confessed a long-hidden addiction, his marriage on the brink of collapse. He didn’t try to impress me. He didn’t spiritualize it. He just wept.
That night, I realized something:
The floor is a good place to meet God.
Not the stage. Not the pew.
The mudroom. The place where dirt clings and shame rides your back like a shadow.
Psalm 51 is a mudroom prayer.
It’s not polished. It’s not public. It’s what you pray when you know you’re guilty, but somehow still believe God is merciful.
When All You Have Is Honesty
We often think God wants strength—clean hands, strong words, powerful worship.
But Psalm 51 flips that on its head.
God isn’t moved by performance.
He’s moved by truth.
And truth, when it finally spills out of us, usually comes dressed in grief and silence.
A Psalm 51 Prayer
Merciful God,
I am humbled by the depth of Your grace and the richness of Your mercy.
My heart cries out for Your forgiveness and restoration, knowing that only You can cleanse me from my sins and renew my spirit.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”
Lord, I come before You with a contrite heart, acknowledging my need for Your mercy and Your compassion. Wash me clean from my iniquities and purify me from my sins.
I echo the psalmist’s cry for renewal,
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Lord, transform me from the inside out. Remove the stains of sin and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, that I may walk in Your ways and live according to Your will.
I am reminded of Your desire for true repentance,
“You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.”
Lord, help me to offer You a broken and contrite heart, for that is pleasing in Your sight. May my repentance be genuine, and may it lead to a life of obedience and devotion to You.
In the midst of my brokenness, I cling to Your promise of restoration,
“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness and Your unfailing love. May Your grace sustain me as I journey with You.
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
The Kind of Heart God Never Rejects
David doesn’t say, “Give me back my crown.”
He says, “Give me back the joy of knowing I’m Yours.”
That’s what sin steals—the nearness, the gladness, the song. But there’s a kind of music that only the forgiven can sing, and it starts with a heart shattered enough to be reshaped.
God is not looking for offerings we can’t afford.
He’s looking for the one thing we always can give:
a heart that knows its need.
Repentance Isn’t Just Feeling Bad
There’s a difference between guilt and repentance.
Guilt shames you into silence.
Repentance drives you to speak—to confess, to cry out, to return.
God doesn’t want your silence. He wants your voice—broken as it may be.
That’s what makes Psalm 51 more than poetry.
It’s a path.
Restoration Is Real
When David prayed this, he wasn’t writing a song. He was reaching for hope.
And God didn’t meet him with a lecture.
He met him with mercy.
We forget that, don’t we?
We think maybe we’ve gone too far, or sinned one time too many.
But the cross of Christ doesn’t blink at the size of our sin.
It absorbs it.
If there’s breath in your lungs, there’s mercy still on the table.
What to Do When You’ve Blown It
If this prayer hits home—if you feel the sting of your own failure—then let me encourage you:
Don’t wait until you feel worthy.
Don’t try to clean yourself up first.
Run.
Run like David did. Fall at the feet of mercy, and say what needs saying.
- Say, “I have sinned.”
- Say, “Wash me.”
- Say, “Create in me a new heart.”
And watch what God does.
Don’t Waste Your Guilt
Let it bring you back.
Let it strip you down.
Let it teach you to trust mercy more than you trust your feelings.
Psalm 51 doesn’t leave us in sorrow.
It leads us to the joy of salvation—not earned, but gifted.
And maybe, years from now, someone will kneel in their own mudroom of regret and find your story—the way you turned, the way you prayed—and realize mercy still lives at the bottom.
Reflect & Act
If this prayer helped you, take a moment to reflect. Write down what you’re feeling in a prayer journal—an invaluable practice for deepening your faith.
Here are some recommendations to support your spiritual journey:
- E.M. Bounds on Prayer – A heartfelt exploration of the power of prayer.
- The Power of a Praying Life – A guide to living a prayer-filled life.
- Praying the Psalms – Learn how to incorporate the Psalms, including Psalm 51, into your prayer life.
Also, consider journaling your thoughts after praying.
Here’s a beautiful prayer journal I recommend for capturing your reflections and prayers.
Explore More
Would you like to deepen your connection with God? Check out my other resources on faith, healing, and spiritual growth:
- Struggling with Prayer? Here’s Why It’s Easier Than You Think
- The Power of Intercessory Prayer: Standing in the Gap for Others
- Finding Strength in Difficult Times
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I was asking God for mercy and I came across this page and I has really helped me to cry out for Mercy in brokenness God bless you