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Taming the tongue with wisdom from above

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How to Tame the Tongue with Wisdom from Above

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Tame the Tongue with Wisdom from Above

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense.
James 3:17

I’m not a list person. I know some of you love lists and enjoy marking off items throughout your day, never resting until it’s done. I’m not like that. I love reading lists and making lists, but I rarely mark off everything. I’m not very good at completing a list so whenever I make one, I feel a little dejected before I even begin.

I’ve heard many times that we shouldn’t turn our faith into a checklist kind of faith. For me, that’s great! But if you love a good list, it can be disappointing as you ask yourself, “How do I know if I’m good enough if I can’t check off my list?”

Wisdom from Above in a List

The Godly life isn’t about checking items off a list, but about heart transformation. Yet the Bible has lists in it. One of those lists is in Galatians 5, the fruit of the Spirit. And another list is in James 3, describing characteristics of wisdom from above.

My faith has transformed as I have learned to use the fruit of the Spirit as a guide for my words and behavior, teaching me when to speak and when not to speak. Is it loving, joyful, peaceful? Then speak it out loud. If it’s not one of nine qualities listed, then I should consider if it’s worth saying. I don’t use it as a checklist to do each day, but as a guide for me to discern what is Spirit-like and what is flesh-like.

In James 3:17 we can read another list, the qualities that reveal Godly wisdom. This is also a guide we can use to discern what is wise behavior or words and what is not. It’s very similar to the fruit of the Spirit, with peace and gentleness making both lists.

Heart transformation doesn’t come with making lists and checking items off as we complete them, but change happens when we engage with Scripture—reading, studying, meditating, and praying.

How I Used a List without Making it a Checklist

I became a stay at home mom when my second child was born. That means I went from working a full-time job, conversing with intelligent adult humans all day to taking care of two babies all day everyday—my oldest was not yet two when little sister came along. I was exhausted, lonely, and very cranky.

During that time, the fruit of the Spirit song stuck in my head. During one angry walk up the stairs, those Spirit-like qualities rang through my head and it occurred to me that what I was about to say was not loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind or good. And definitely not self-controlled.

After that, those qualities became my gold standard, how I would measure my words either before, during, or after they were spoken. Even when I was angry, I needed self-control and love and gentleness, especially when parenting little ones.

I prayed for those qualities daily. And failed daily. But at least I knew in my heart what a parent guided by the Spirit looked like, and I knew what to ask for in my prayers. And when I failed, I asked for forgiveness and the wisdom and power to do better next time. The fruit of the Spirit is a list I will never complete.

Wisdom from Above List

The list in James 3 teaches us how to act and speak with the wisdom from above, a way that is the opposite of “earthly, unspiritual, demonic” (verse 16). Again, the list isn’t to be used as a checklist, but as a guide of what to pray for. If you’re struggling with attitudes that are not wise, pray daily over this list.

In the first chapter of James, he tells us that if we ask God for wisdom, He gives it to us. Ask God to show you where you fall short and to help you daily. Use this list to convict your heart and bring about change where change is needed.

Wisdom from Above Free Download

If you struggle with taming your tongue, knowing when to speak up or not to speak, and you want to ask God for help, I have created a short Bible study on James 3:16-18. It’s free to download and it is eight pages of Scripture and writing prompts. I hope this study gives you a way to engage with Scripture and a guide to asking for help.

The “Wisdom from Above” download will give you background info on the passage, a place to take notes, and a chart for comparing wisdom from above and earthly wisdom. You will also write down what each word in the list means and doesn’t mean. Then you will write about Jesus and how he was the embodiment of Godly wisdom. Lastly, there is a prayer worksheet to guide your prayers to God in this area.

I pray that this guide will help you speak wise words from above, words that are God-approved and helpful for encouraging others.

To receive your free download, add your name and email address below. Then you’ll be directed to a Dropbox link to download the printable.

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Tame the Tongue with Wisdom from Above

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August 31, 2021 · 2 Comments

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  1. Martha Brady saysSeptember 3, 2021 at 9:53 pmNatalie, I’m your next door neighbor at hopewriters. this is an interesting study on wisdom and taming the tongue. thanks a lot.Reply

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Hello! I’m Natalie!

I want you to know that loneliness is not the end of your story. My words will encourage you to embrace love over fear, action over inaction, and pleasing God over pleasing people. We are all made for community, even those of us that love solitude! Follow me on Instagram for regular encouragement to make connections.

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When my words and actions are driven by love, I have less regrets and a clean conscience from doing what is pleasing to God, who is love. When my words spring forth from anger, insecurity, pride, judgment, or whatever else, I’m more likely to hurt someone and have guilt and regrets about it later. “Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8 NKJV Happy Valentine’s Day! May you feel the love of God today and everyday ❤️ #loveoneanother #godislove #faithjourney #connectionmatters #drawnear

Solitude does not equal loneliness 💖 We have seasons of life where we must spend much of our time alone. There are ways to find connection and purpose, even here. Read the full blog post “Embrace Seasons of Solitude” at nataliehilton.com/blog #sacredsolitude #faithjourney #wellwateredwomen #drawingnear

Yes, I’m saying it. I’m the one who will nudge you towards connection, to overcome your fears and go first. But I also know that we cannot show up meaningfully in the lives of others if we haven’t spent some time in solitude. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for going out and a time for staying in, a time for connecting with others and a time for solitude, a time for doing and a time for praying, a time for bearing fruit and a time for resting, a time for joining in and a time for staying out, a time for saying yes and a time for saying no. 💖What would you add to the list? #Faithjourney #aseasonforeverything #wintering

It’s easy to grow weary when you feel like you are the one always reaching out, when you are tired of going first, and when you work hard to help others feel seen yet still feel invisible yourself. But the encouragement from the apostle Paul is to keep going, because while you may not feel the reward now, a harvest will come later. “So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.” Galatians 6:9-10 MSG Keep drawing near. #FaithJourney #EncouragementForToday #BeTheLight

Your longing for connection is a gift, not a flaw ✨ You were made for love, belonging, and community—let it be so! #ConnectionMatters #drawingnear

As we continue on the journey of 2025, may we remember the power of connection. Let’s uplift one another, show up, and ensure no one walks alone. ✨ Read the full blessing at nataliehilton.com/blog #Connection #NewYearBlessing #DrawingNear”

I love keeping quotes and then sharing them. It’s never fun to keep them to yourself! I shared this quote in my Drawing Near newsletter, because it’s an important reminder that choosing to embrace who God made us to be can change how we show up in the world—for the better. Comparing your gift to a friend’s gift is harmful to your relationship. If you’d like more encouragement like this, I’d love for you to join my newsletter! Each week, I share inspiration to help you connect with God, yourself, and others. Let me know in the comments if you’d like the link to join—I’d love to share it with you! Or go to nataliehilton.com/newsletter #DrawingNear #Encouragement #FaithJourney

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